The Yes JJ Show E3: Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Hello, my beautiful people. Thank you so Hello, my beautiful people. Thank you so much for being back and tuning in. I'm much for being back and tuning in. I'm much for being back and tuning in. I'm Yena with the SJJ show and I'm so Yena with the SJJ show and I'm so Yena with the SJJ show and I'm so honored for you guys to be here. honored for you guys to be here. honored for you guys to be here. Subscribe, like, and share. Um, today Subscribe, like, and share. Um, today Subscribe, like, and share. Um, today we're going to get into a topic that's a we're going to get into a topic that's a we're going to get into a topic that's a little bit more sensitive, so viewer little bit more sensitive, so viewer little bit more sensitive, so viewer discretion is advised, but please do discretion is advised, but please do discretion is advised, but please do share, like, and and share with your share, like, and and share with your share, like, and and share with your loved ones as [music] well. Thank you so loved ones as [music] well. Thank you so loved ones as [music] well. Thank you so much. We have a very special guest much. We have a very special guest much. We have a very special guest today. I'm so so honored to have her. today. I'm so so honored to have her. today. I'm so so honored to have her. She is the creator of Creattopia. She is She is the creator of Creattopia. She is She is the creator of Creattopia. She is a CEO and co-founder. Thank you so much. a CEO and co-founder. Thank you so much. a CEO and co-founder. Thank you so much. And please give a round of applause to And please give a round of applause to And please give a round of applause to Rosalia Vanuelos. Thank you. [laughter] Rosalia Vanuelos. Thank you. [laughter] Rosalia Vanuelos. Thank you. [laughter] Thank you so much for being here. I'm so Thank you so much for being here. I'm so Thank you so much for being here. I'm so honored that you have opened up the honored that you have opened up the honored that you have opened up the space for us and it's just such a space for us and it's just such a space for us and it's just such a beautiful place and a place to to feel beautiful place and a place to to feel beautiful place and a place to to feel safe to tell stories and you know just safe to tell stories and you know just safe to tell stories and you know just to honor the community and the community to honor the community and the community to honor the community and the community leaders that we have here. So I'm so leaders that we have here. So I'm so leaders that we have here. So I'm so grateful for you. please um tell us a grateful for you. please um tell us a grateful for you. please um tell us a little bit about yourself. We're very little bit about yourself. We're very little bit about yourself. We're very excited uh to hear about you. excited uh to hear about you. excited uh to hear about you. >> Okay. Um well, where do I start? >> Okay. Um well, where do I start? >> Okay. Um well, where do I start? [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] >> Well, I think I think addressing today's >> Well, I think I think addressing today's >> Well, I think I think addressing today's topic um how are we talking about topic um how are we talking about topic um how are we talking about domestic violence um and how the domestic violence um and how the domestic violence um and how the creation of Creattopia, that's kind of creation of Creattopia, that's kind of creation of Creattopia, that's kind of where it stemmed from. Um not directly where it stemmed from. Um not directly where it stemmed from. Um not directly about domestic violence, but human about domestic violence, but human about domestic violence, but human trafficking. Um, I went down a rabbit trafficking. Um, I went down a rabbit trafficking. Um, I went down a rabbit hole of of what happens and how violence hole of of what happens and how violence hole of of what happens and how violence and sexuality play into and sexuality play into and sexuality play into um what is happening with our with our um what is happening with our with our um what is happening with our with our brain development. I have a theory that brain development. I have a theory that brain development. I have a theory that that how much violence and and sexuality

that how much violence and and sexuality that how much violence and and sexuality is seen in media and and video games and is seen in media and and video games and is seen in media and and video games and just music and everything that you just music and everything that you just music and everything that you really see online is actually causing really see online is actually causing really see online is actually causing brain damage. and and the brain damage. brain damage. and and the brain damage. brain damage. and and the brain damage. I mean, there's a book called Children I mean, there's a book called Children I mean, there's a book called Children as Risk that talks about how if if a as Risk that talks about how if if a as Risk that talks about how if if a brain is sexualized before before the brain is sexualized before before the brain is sexualized before before the prefrontal cortex develops, which is prefrontal cortex develops, which is prefrontal cortex develops, which is around 13 or 12 is when it starts around 13 or 12 is when it starts around 13 or 12 is when it starts developing. And the prefrontal cortex is developing. And the prefrontal cortex is developing. And the prefrontal cortex is is the front part of your brain. It's is the front part of your brain. It's is the front part of your brain. It's like the LA it's the last part of our like the LA it's the last part of our like the LA it's the last part of our brain that developed. brain that developed. brain that developed. >> Wow, that's crazy. >> Wow, that's crazy. >> Wow, that's crazy. >> Wow. Um but if if that happens before it >> Wow. Um but if if that happens before it >> Wow. Um but if if that happens before it starts developing it actually decays starts developing it actually decays starts developing it actually decays your prefrontal cortex and that could be your prefrontal cortex and that could be your prefrontal cortex and that could be like something happens or you see like something happens or you see like something happens or you see something online which is something online which is something online which is >> very prevalent now if you look at like >> very prevalent now if you look at like >> very prevalent now if you look at like >> Tik Tok or any videos >> Tik Tok or any videos >> Tik Tok or any videos >> just music videos and everything around >> just music videos and everything around >> just music videos and everything around us is very very us is very very us is very very >> sexualized like just everywhere that >> sexualized like just everywhere that >> sexualized like just everywhere that you're like you're like you're like >> like why >> like why >> like why >> why is it Yeah. Why [laughter] is it in >> why is it Yeah. Why [laughter] is it in >> why is it Yeah. Why [laughter] is it in the It has nothing to do with the movie the It has nothing to do with the movie the It has nothing to do with the movie or the thing that you're watching and or the thing that you're watching and or the thing that you're watching and it's in there.

it's in there. it's in there. >> Yeah. So, if that happens, like if you >> Yeah. So, if that happens, like if you >> Yeah. So, if that happens, like if you just even see something, just even see something, just even see something, >> your prefrontal cortex will not develop >> your prefrontal cortex will not develop >> your prefrontal cortex will not develop as it should. as it should. as it should. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> And your prefrontal cortex is your >> And your prefrontal cortex is your >> And your prefrontal cortex is your emotional regulation. emotional regulation. emotional regulation. >> Okay. >> Okay. >> Okay. >> Your ability to set goals and make >> Your ability to set goals and make >> Your ability to set goals and make decisions. Okay. decisions. Okay. decisions. Okay. >> And your and your personality. >> And your and your personality. >> And your and your personality. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Like it's it's your identity. >> Like it's it's your identity. >> Like it's it's your identity. >> It's your how your basically your >> It's your how your basically your >> It's your how your basically your characteristics, characteristics, characteristics, >> how you regulate. >> how you regulate. >> how you regulate. >> Wow. That's amazing. >> Wow. That's amazing. >> Wow. That's amazing. >> It's your it's your character. your and >> It's your it's your character. your and >> It's your it's your character. your and and so you see and and we'll get more and so you see and and we'll get more and so you see and and we'll get more into it but in past relationships and into it but in past relationships and into it but in past relationships and just observing right because my just observing right because my just observing right because my background is in psychology before background is in psychology before background is in psychology before before I I um established Creattopia or before I I um established Creattopia or before I I um established Creattopia or I co-ounded Creattopia um I was a mental I co-ounded Creattopia um I was a mental I co-ounded Creattopia um I was a mental health professional for about a decade. health professional for about a decade. health professional for about a decade. >> Okay. >> Okay. >> Okay. >> With kids and families. >> With kids and families. >> With kids and families. >> Awesome. >> Awesome. >> Awesome. >> Um and and just I've always been very >> Um and and just I've always been very >> Um and and just I've always been very introverted. I'm the youngest of nine. introverted. I'm the youngest of nine. introverted. I'm the youngest of nine. >> Okay. Um, [laughter] so, so I've always >> Okay. Um, [laughter] so, so I've always >> Okay. Um, [laughter] so, so I've always been observing. been observing. been observing. >> You know, as as a young Latina Mexican >> You know, as as a young Latina Mexican >> You know, as as a young Latina Mexican gigantic family, gigantic family, gigantic family, >> you don't you don't you're taught to not >> you don't you don't you're taught to not >> you don't you don't you're taught to not say much.

say much. say much. >> Yes. [clears throat] >> Yes. [clears throat] >> Yes. [clears throat] You should sit down and just not have You should sit down and just not have You should sit down and just not have any opinions. any opinions. any opinions. >> Listen, stay there. Don't Yeah. And so >> Listen, stay there. Don't Yeah. And so >> Listen, stay there. Don't Yeah. And so and so you observe like what else are and so you observe like what else are and so you observe like what else are you going to do? you going to do? you going to do? >> Yeah. Yeah. You observe. You sit there >> Yeah. Yeah. You observe. You sit there >> Yeah. Yeah. You observe. You sit there and you hear everybody else, you know, and you hear everybody else, you know, and you hear everybody else, you know, talk. Yes. And say things. Yes. So I so talk. Yes. And say things. Yes. So I so talk. Yes. And say things. Yes. So I so I observed for a long time and then and I observed for a long time and then and I observed for a long time and then and then I started because there was stuff then I started because there was stuff then I started because there was stuff that happened when I was younger, just that happened when I was younger, just that happened when I was younger, just trauma that happened when I was younger trauma that happened when I was younger trauma that happened when I was younger and so I was resolving things um for and so I was resolving things um for and so I was resolving things um for myself and that's how I got into myself and that's how I got into myself and that's how I got into psychology. psychology. psychology. >> Awesome. >> Awesome. >> Awesome. >> Um and just [clears throat] really again >> Um and just [clears throat] really again >> Um and just [clears throat] really again in psychology all you're doing is asking in psychology all you're doing is asking in psychology all you're doing is asking questions and letting people talk. Yes. questions and letting people talk. Yes. questions and letting people talk. Yes. >> And observing and again asking more >> And observing and again asking more >> And observing and again asking more questions. questions. questions. >> Um >> Um >> Um >> and so that's just always been what I've >> and so that's just always been what I've >> and so that's just always been what I've been doing. been doing. been doing. >> Absolutely. like observing and watching >> Absolutely. like observing and watching >> Absolutely. like observing and watching patterns and watching how how different patterns and watching how how different patterns and watching how how different things play out in different components things play out in different components things play out in different components of society. Yes. of society. Yes. of society. Yes. >> Right. You have >> Right. You have >> Right. You have >> not only not only does this happen in >> not only not only does this happen in >> not only not only does this happen in intimate relationships, which happens a intimate relationships, which happens a intimate relationships, which happens a lot, intimate partner violence, which lot, intimate partner violence, which lot, intimate partner violence, which we're talking about today, we're talking about today, we're talking about today, >> but you see it but you see it with >> but you see it but you see it with >> but you see it but you see it with parents and kids. You see it parents and kids. You see it parents and kids. You see it >> um in workplaces. You see it in >> um in workplaces. You see it in >> um in workplaces. You see it in religious in institutions.

religious in institutions. religious in institutions. >> Yes. You see it kind of like >> Yes. You see it kind of like >> Yes. You see it kind of like >> friendships, >> friendships, >> friendships, >> you see it everywhere, >> you see it everywhere, >> you see it everywhere, >> family everywhere. >> family everywhere. >> family everywhere. >> The patterns come out everywhere. And so >> The patterns come out everywhere. And so >> The patterns come out everywhere. And so and so you get to the point where where and so you get to the point where where and so you get to the point where where you're like you're like you're like >> like what can you do? Like if you see >> like what can you do? Like if you see >> like what can you do? Like if you see the pattern like what can you the pattern like what can you the pattern like what can you >> like I can't I can't if I see something >> like I can't I can't if I see something >> like I can't I can't if I see something I can't not do. I can't not do. I can't not do. >> Yes. You can't unsee it after you've >> Yes. You can't unsee it after you've >> Yes. You can't unsee it after you've seen it. Most definitely. seen it. Most definitely. seen it. Most definitely. >> And just I'm the type of person that >> And just I'm the type of person that >> And just I'm the type of person that like after I've seen it [clears throat] like after I've seen it [clears throat] like after I've seen it [clears throat] I have to do something about it. I have to do something about it. I have to do something about it. >> Okay. Like >> Okay. Like >> Okay. Like >> that's amazing. And that's amazing >> that's amazing. And that's amazing >> that's amazing. And that's amazing because a lot of people do see and don't because a lot of people do see and don't because a lot of people do see and don't say and you know I think that adds to say and you know I think that adds to say and you know I think that adds to the problem of why things don't get the problem of why things don't get the problem of why things don't get talked about or they get brushed under talked about or they get brushed under talked about or they get brushed under the rug and then you know we have issues the rug and then you know we have issues the rug and then you know we have issues later on down the line causing bigger later on down the line causing bigger later on down the line causing bigger issues. you know, one thing can grow issues. you know, one thing can grow issues. you know, one thing can grow into a bigger thing and it just grows into a bigger thing and it just grows into a bigger thing and it just grows into this avalanche of a ball that into this avalanche of a ball that into this avalanche of a ball that affects you long term and your affects you long term and your affects you long term and your relationships and how you connect with relationships and how you connect with relationships and how you connect with people and you know, so it's very people and you know, so it's very people and you know, so it's very detrimental it is to observe, you know, detrimental it is to observe, you know, detrimental it is to observe, you know, see the patterns, see the patterns, see the patterns, >> you know, identify as well. I think >> you know, identify as well. I think >> you know, identify as well. I think that's one of the things that you have that's one of the things that you have that's one of the things that you have to like identify and and really react, to like identify and and really react, to like identify and and really react, not only be reactive, you know, but but not only be reactive, you know, but but not only be reactive, you know, but but really center yourself to be able to really center yourself to be able to really center yourself to be able to actually like have a conversation, a actually like have a conversation, a actually like have a conversation, a healthy conversation about it, you know, healthy conversation about it, you know, healthy conversation about it, you know, and I think that's why it's so so and I think that's why it's so so and I think that's why it's so so crucial and so detrimental that we do do crucial and so detrimental that we do do crucial and so detrimental that we do do this, you know, [clears throat] and we this, you know, [clears throat] and we this, you know, [clears throat] and we have these conversations that are hard, have these conversations that are hard, have these conversations that are hard, um, you know, but they're they're um, you know, but they're they're um, you know, but they're they're needed. They're definitely needed. And needed. They're definitely needed. And needed. They're definitely needed. And especially in psychology, I know in especially in psychology, I know in especially in psychology, I know in psychology, um, there's a lot of things psychology, um, there's a lot of things psychology, um, there's a lot of things that an individual has to work through, that an individual has to work through, that an individual has to work through, you know, and and throughout the time you know, and and throughout the time you know, and and throughout the time and throughout the time of of actually and throughout the time of of actually and throughout the time of of actually talking about it and and like you said,

talking about it and and like you said, talking about it and and like you said, asking questions, you know, why do you asking questions, you know, why do you asking questions, you know, why do you feel like that or or, you know, does feel like that or or, you know, does feel like that or or, you know, does this make you feel a certain way or, you this make you feel a certain way or, you this make you feel a certain way or, you know, just different traumas that you know, just different traumas that you know, just different traumas that you have to go through or that you've gone have to go through or that you've gone have to go through or that you've gone through and how to work through them, through and how to work through them, through and how to work through them, you know, by actually communicating, you you know, by actually communicating, you you know, by actually communicating, you know, and that's why it's so important know, and that's why it's so important know, and that's why it's so important to actually have, you know, to actually have, you know, to actually have, you know, conversations that are difficult but conversations that are difficult but conversations that are difficult but needed, you know, to heal to actually needed, you know, to heal to actually needed, you know, to heal to actually heal what you're you've gone through. heal what you're you've gone through. heal what you're you've gone through. And I feel like everyone needs healing. And I feel like everyone needs healing. And I feel like everyone needs healing. Everyone needs to, you know, have a Everyone needs to, you know, have a Everyone needs to, you know, have a either a friend, a partner, someone that either a friend, a partner, someone that either a friend, a partner, someone that can actually feel safe, can actually feel safe, can actually feel safe, >> you know, and we've talked about it a >> you know, and we've talked about it a >> you know, and we've talked about it a lot of you can't create when you don't lot of you can't create when you don't lot of you can't create when you don't feel safe. You know, you have to feel feel safe. You know, you have to feel feel safe. You know, you have to feel safe in the environment to be able to safe in the environment to be able to safe in the environment to be able to actually like feel happy again and feel actually like feel happy again and feel actually like feel happy again and feel yourself again and and be able to like yourself again and and be able to like yourself again and and be able to like think beyond your your trauma basically, think beyond your your trauma basically, think beyond your your trauma basically, you know? Oh, that's so that's actually you know? Oh, that's so that's actually you know? Oh, that's so that's actually how you heal trauma. how you heal trauma. how you heal trauma. >> You have to you have to go through >> You have to you have to go through >> You have to you have to go through through similar experiences but in a through similar experiences but in a through similar experiences but in a healthy environment. healthy environment. healthy environment. >> Like you actually that's why they say >> Like you actually that's why they say >> Like you actually that's why they say like if you if you fall off the horse, like if you if you fall off the horse, like if you if you fall off the horse, get back on the horse right away because get back on the horse right away because get back on the horse right away because then if not that trauma is going to stay then if not that trauma is going to stay then if not that trauma is going to stay there and you're always going to have there and you're always going to have there and you're always going to have that that negative reaction to it.

that that negative reaction to it. that that negative reaction to it. And so and so like if you if you've And so and so like if you if you've And so and so like if you if you've experienced touch in very negative ways experienced touch in very negative ways experienced touch in very negative ways like it's very important that you that like it's very important that you that like it's very important that you that you find safe spaces to experience safe you find safe spaces to experience safe you find safe spaces to experience safe touch, right? And you think about touch touch, right? And you think about touch touch, right? And you think about touch and and it's and and it's and and it's >> like like again you can go down a whole >> like like again you can go down a whole >> like like again you can go down a whole bunch of rabbit holes with it. But that bunch of rabbit holes with it. But that bunch of rabbit holes with it. But that is why why why Creattopia exists. Uh is why why why Creattopia exists. Uh is why why why Creattopia exists. Uh because with with mental with just my because with with mental with just my because with with mental with just my background in mental health and like background in mental health and like background in mental health and like after getting my masters in social work after getting my masters in social work after getting my masters in social work and just seeing more of how cuz cuz and just seeing more of how cuz cuz and just seeing more of how cuz cuz social work is very much about the social work is very much about the social work is very much about the systems and and the policies and like systems and and the policies and like systems and and the policies and like everything around in society like how everything around in society like how everything around in society like how power moves in society and and how power moves in society and and how power moves in society and and how things are set in place that it doesn't things are set in place that it doesn't things are set in place that it doesn't m because I got to the point in my m because I got to the point in my m because I got to the point in my mental health like when I was when I was mental health like when I was when I was mental health like when I was when I was a counselor that I was like there's not a counselor that I was like there's not a counselor that I was like there's not much impact that I'm causing because much impact that I'm causing because much impact that I'm causing because these like I would I would sit I was these like I would I would sit I was these like I would I would sit I was working when when I was finally like I working when when I was finally like I working when when I was finally like I can't listen to the stories anymore was can't listen to the stories anymore was can't listen to the stories anymore was when I was working with children in when I was working with children in when I was working with children in foster care and it was it was so hard foster care and it was it was so hard foster care and it was it was so hard because I would see them for an hour a because I would see them for an hour a because I would see them for an hour a week and then they would go back and week and then they would go back and week and then they would go back and then some of these kids were in foster then some of these kids were in foster then some of these kids were in foster homes that they were getting more abused homes that they were getting more abused homes that they were getting more abused than they did when from the homes that than they did when from the homes that than they did when from the homes that they came from and or it was just they came from and or it was just they came from and or it was just different types of abuse and and so you different types of abuse and and so you different types of abuse and and so you I started seeing how like the systems I started seeing how like the systems I started seeing how like the systems and society around them. It kept them in and society around them. It kept them in and society around them. It kept them in that space, in that mental space. They that space, in that mental space. They that space, in that mental space. They were never like they were taken they were never like they were taken they were never like they were taken they were they were the ones that were taken were they were the ones that were taken were they were the ones that were taken out of the abusive home into the system

out of the abusive home into the system out of the abusive home into the system and they were always looked at like and they were always looked at like and they were always looked at like you're the bad kid. you're the bad kid. you're the bad kid. >> Like no matter what, you were the bad >> Like no matter what, you were the bad >> Like no matter what, you were the bad kid, right? So, so like so the the kid, right? So, so like so the the kid, right? So, so like so the the mentality of it, right? Like I'm very mentality of it, right? Like I'm very mentality of it, right? Like I'm very I'm very strong on mindset and and the I'm very strong on mindset and and the I'm very strong on mindset and and the things that you say to yourself and and things that you say to yourself and and things that you say to yourself and and the things that and and you and like the things that and and you and like the things that and and you and like your internal voice is what you heard your internal voice is what you heard your internal voice is what you heard growing up from your adults around you growing up from your adults around you growing up from your adults around you like that is your internal conversation like that is your internal conversation like that is your internal conversation that that that's how you talk to that that that's how you talk to that that that's how you talk to yourself. So if these kids all they have yourself. So if these kids all they have yourself. So if these kids all they have is every like their teacher, their their is every like their teacher, their their is every like their teacher, their their foster parent, their counselor, like all foster parent, their counselor, like all foster parent, their counselor, like all these people around them that are like, these people around them that are like, these people around them that are like, "Well, you're messed up." "Well, you're messed up." "Well, you're messed up." >> Like and and and the and the and the and >> Like and and and the and the and the and >> Like and and and the and the and the and the kid is like, the kid is like, the kid is like, >> "But I'm the one like I but like I was I >> "But I'm the one like I but like I was I >> "But I'm the one like I but like I was I was just the victim of the situ." was just the victim of the situ." was just the victim of the situ." [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] >> Yeah. I'm just came from one to another >> Yeah. I'm just came from one to another >> Yeah. I'm just came from one to another beast, you know, from the mouth of a beast, you know, from the mouth of a beast, you know, from the mouth of a lion to another mouth of a lion. And we lion to another mouth of a lion. And we lion to another mouth of a lion. And we talked a little bit about how how like talked a little bit about how how like talked a little bit about how how like the systems and unfortunat like our the systems and unfortunat like our the systems and unfortunat like our systems that are in place aren't really systems that are in place aren't really systems that are in place aren't really meant to heal us.

meant to heal us. meant to heal us. >> They're not unfortunately. >> They're not unfortunately. >> They're not unfortunately. >> And so and so that was a lot of >> And so and so that was a lot of >> And so and so that was a lot of >> like I like I started seeing how like >> like I like I started seeing how like >> like I like I started seeing how like there is nothing for like actual like there is nothing for like actual like there is nothing for like actual like safe spaces and like and like the safe spaces and like and like the safe spaces and like and like the advocacy of of how important it is to advocacy of of how important it is to advocacy of of how important it is to create a safe space. create a safe space. create a safe space. >> Yes. Yes. And what that means >> Yes. Yes. And what that means >> Yes. Yes. And what that means >> and what it really means and how to >> and what it really means and how to >> and what it really means and how to actually feel it because I feel like actually feel it because I feel like actually feel it because I feel like sometimes we're such we're stuck in sometimes we're such we're stuck in sometimes we're such we're stuck in survival mode for so long that we survival mode for so long that we survival mode for so long that we >> we don't know how to feel safe anymore. >> we don't know how to feel safe anymore. >> we don't know how to feel safe anymore. We're we're in the loophole. We're in We're we're in the loophole. We're in We're we're in the loophole. We're in the roller coaster rides all the time the roller coaster rides all the time the roller coaster rides all the time and it's hard to jump off that roller and it's hard to jump off that roller and it's hard to jump off that roller coaster coaster coaster >> and be in a place where I'm like, "Oh my >> and be in a place where I'm like, "Oh my >> and be in a place where I'm like, "Oh my gosh, I have peace now." And it's like gosh, I have peace now." And it's like gosh, I have peace now." And it's like it it to have that sometimes it feels it it to have that sometimes it feels it it to have that sometimes it feels you're out of your body almost. those you're out of your body almost. those you're out of your body almost. those out-of- body experiences, you know, that out-of- body experiences, you know, that out-of- body experiences, you know, that you do feel like you're you're not you do feel like you're you're not you do feel like you're you're not supposed to be there, you know, and and supposed to be there, you know, and and supposed to be there, you know, and and that's part of the hardest part about that's part of the hardest part about that's part of the hardest part about healing is, you know, being healing is, you know, being healing is, you know, being >> able to actually hear your own self, you >> able to actually hear your own self, you >> able to actually hear your own self, you know, and not just have the the words of know, and not just have the the words of know, and not just have the the words of someone else saying you're the bad kid, someone else saying you're the bad kid, someone else saying you're the bad kid, you're the problem, you're this and you're the problem, you're this and you're the problem, you're this and you're that, you know, because that gets you're that, you know, because that gets you're that, you know, because that gets instilled in us, you know, that makes instilled in us, you know, that makes instilled in us, you know, that makes us, like you said, that that creates our us, like you said, that that creates our us, like you said, that that creates our character for adulthood, you know, and character for adulthood, you know, and character for adulthood, you know, and this is the children that are growing up this is the children that are growing up this is the children that are growing up like this, you know, and unfortunately like this, you know, and unfortunately like this, you know, and unfortunately they go into society and they start they go into society and they start they go into society and they start thinking like this, start attracting thinking like this, start attracting thinking like this, start attracting people like that and and the cycle keeps people like that and and the cycle keeps people like that and and the cycle keeps going, you know, and that's why it's so going, you know, and that's why it's so going, you know, and that's why it's so important to pour into yourself, you important to pour into yourself, you important to pour into yourself, you know, pour into your children, pour into know, pour into your children, pour into know, pour into your children, pour into the positiveness, you know, that you the positiveness, you know, that you the positiveness, you know, that you that you have the ability to, you know, that you have the ability to, you know, that you have the ability to, you know, you have your your tongue is a sword.

you have your your tongue is a sword. you have your your tongue is a sword. you could use it for good and for bad, you could use it for good and for bad, you could use it for good and for bad, you know, and you definitely have to be you know, and you definitely have to be you know, and you definitely have to be able to like have that discernment, you able to like have that discernment, you able to like have that discernment, you know, and and and not only that, but I know, and and and not only that, but I know, and and and not only that, but I feel like sometimes when people have feel like sometimes when people have feel like sometimes when people have become a victim of certain situations, become a victim of certain situations, become a victim of certain situations, >> not that they stay a victim, but they're >> not that they stay a victim, but they're >> not that they stay a victim, but they're in the this the place where it feels in the this the place where it feels in the this the place where it feels safer to be the victim and it feels safer to be the victim and it feels safer to be the victim and it feels safer to be actually there than it is safer to be actually there than it is safer to be actually there than it is the safness to actually leave that, you the safness to actually leave that, you the safness to actually leave that, you know, and and have that know, and and have that know, and and have that >> seen anything else. >> seen anything else. >> seen anything else. >> Exactly. You know, there's a lot of >> Exactly. You know, there's a lot of >> Exactly. You know, there's a lot of people that if they they were born into people that if they they were born into people that if they they were born into abusive homes or abusive situations, abusive homes or abusive situations, abusive homes or abusive situations, that's all you've ever known. that's all you've ever known. that's all you've ever known. >> That's all you've known. >> That's all you've known. >> That's all you've known. >> So, you don't you have no idea what >> So, you don't you have no idea what >> So, you don't you have no idea what healthy looks like. healthy looks like. healthy looks like. >> You don't >> You don't >> You don't >> you have no idea what safe means >> you have no idea what safe means >> you have no idea what safe means >> means and how it feels >> means and how it feels >> means and how it feels >> and how and like that you're even in a >> and how and like that you're even in a >> and how and like that you're even in a cycle. You have no idea that you're even cycle. You have no idea that you're even cycle. You have no idea that you're even in this in this cycle that's that's in this in this cycle that's that's in this in this cycle that's that's abusive. abusive. abusive. >> Yes. You don't know what you don't know >> Yes. You don't know what you don't know >> Yes. You don't know what you don't know >> until like somebody until you meet >> until like somebody until you meet >> until like somebody until you meet somebody that's like safe and they're somebody that's like safe and they're somebody that's like safe and they're like, "Wait, what?" Like, like, "Wait, what?" Like, like, "Wait, what?" Like, >> you've gone through You do what? Yeah, >> you've gone through You do what? Yeah, >> you've gone through You do what? Yeah, that's not normal. that's not normal. that's not normal. >> You think that's okay?

>> You think that's okay? >> You think that's okay? >> No. [laughter] >> No. [laughter] >> No. [laughter] >> Like, >> Like, >> Like, >> but but that's what it takes. And and we >> but but that's what it takes. And and we >> but but that's what it takes. And and we talk about like breaking cycles and how talk about like breaking cycles and how talk about like breaking cycles and how and how hard it is, right? Because and how hard it is, right? Because and how hard it is, right? Because >> as Latinas, at least like as like as a >> as Latinas, at least like as like as a >> as Latinas, at least like as like as a Mexican female, breaking a cycle of Mexican female, breaking a cycle of Mexican female, breaking a cycle of abusive relationships like you go abusive relationships like you go abusive relationships like you go against your entire ancestry, like your against your entire ancestry, like your against your entire ancestry, like your entire ancestry. entire ancestry. entire ancestry. >> Ancestors. [laughter] Yes. >> Ancestors. [laughter] Yes. >> Ancestors. [laughter] Yes. >> Like all of your like grandmas, great >> Like all of your like grandmas, great >> Like all of your like grandmas, great great grandmas, like from the beginning great grandmas, like from the beginning great grandmas, like from the beginning of time. And it's not just Mexicans. of time. And it's not just Mexicans. of time. And it's not just Mexicans. It's it's I mean the patriarchy exists It's it's I mean the patriarchy exists It's it's I mean the patriarchy exists for a reason, right? It's called the for a reason, right? It's called the for a reason, right? It's called the patriarchy for a reason. But the way in patriarchy for a reason. But the way in patriarchy for a reason. But the way in which women are oppressed all over the which women are oppressed all over the which women are oppressed all over the world like world like world like >> it's systematic. >> it's systematic. >> it's systematic. >> It's ancestral. It is. So we're breaking >> It's ancestral. It is. So we're breaking >> It's ancestral. It is. So we're breaking we're going up against like we're going up against like we're going up against like >> a bigger beast. Yeah. That we've that we >> a bigger beast. Yeah. That we've that we >> a bigger beast. Yeah. That we've that we were literally born into really were literally born into really were literally born into really honestly. And it is a lot of, you know, honestly. And it is a lot of, you know, honestly. And it is a lot of, you know, it does have to do a lot with religion, it does have to do a lot with religion, it does have to do a lot with religion, family upbringing, you know, how you family upbringing, you know, how you family upbringing, you know, how you were raised, you know, like our abilas were raised, you know, like our abilas were raised, you know, like our abilas were like, oh, were like, oh, were like, oh, that's what you got to deal with. But that's what you got to deal with. But that's what you got to deal with. But it's not like that. It should not be it's not like that. It should not be it's not like that. It should not be like that, you know. We should be like that, you know. We should be like that, you know. We should be encouraging each other to have the encouraging each other to have the encouraging each other to have the healthy relationship that maybe they healthy relationship that maybe they healthy relationship that maybe they couldn't establish, you know, because couldn't establish, you know, because couldn't establish, you know, because certain situations, the time, the the certain situations, the time, the the certain situations, the time, the the the eras, the whatever it is, you know, the eras, the whatever it is, you know, the eras, the whatever it is, you know, but we're in a space now where we can but we're in a space now where we can but we're in a space now where we can use Google, you know, like, hey, what is use Google, you know, like, hey, what is use Google, you know, like, hey, what is gaslighting? What is manipulation? What gaslighting? What is manipulation? What gaslighting? What is manipulation? What is a narcissist? what is, you know, is a narcissist? what is, you know, is a narcissist? what is, you know, these words that in big terms we might these words that in big terms we might these words that in big terms we might not fully know what they are, but we've

not fully know what they are, but we've not fully know what they are, but we've probably lived it, you know, and and I probably lived it, you know, and and I probably lived it, you know, and and I think like you said earlier, it's very think like you said earlier, it's very think like you said earlier, it's very important that we don't know that we're important that we don't know that we're important that we don't know that we're in the cycle until it's maybe too late, in the cycle until it's maybe too late, in the cycle until it's maybe too late, you know, and and you know, and and you know, and and >> you don't know until you don't know, you >> you don't know until you don't know, you >> you don't know until you don't know, you know, and and I feel like that's why know, and and I feel like that's why know, and and I feel like that's why it's so important to have these it's so important to have these it's so important to have these conversations to get the information, to conversations to get the information, to conversations to get the information, to get the resources, to get the the get the resources, to get the the get the resources, to get the the definitions of words, you know, just the definitions of words, you know, just the definitions of words, you know, just the understanding to be able to be like understanding to be able to be like understanding to be able to be like question question things question question things question question things >> and talk things out, you know, like >> and talk things out, you know, like >> and talk things out, you know, like there's so much that we hold in. There's there's so much that we hold in. There's there's so much that we hold in. There's so much shame around this conversation so much shame around this conversation so much shame around this conversation and so and like like we were saying and so and like like we were saying and so and like like we were saying ancestral but also like religion plays ancestral but also like religion plays ancestral but also like religion plays into it, our our legal systems play into into it, our our legal systems play into into it, our our legal systems play into it, school plays into it. There's so it, school plays into it. There's so it, school plays into it. There's so much it maybe it's not directly like much it maybe it's not directly like much it maybe it's not directly like we're oppressing women but we're oppressing women but we're oppressing women but >> but the oppression the mentality of of >> but the oppression the mentality of of >> but the oppression the mentality of of being oppressed. being oppressed. being oppressed. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> It's not just females. Yes. It's >> It's not just females. Yes. It's >> It's not just females. Yes. It's everybody everybody everybody >> everywhere. >> everywhere. >> everywhere. >> And and they say that and there there's >> And and they say that and there there's >> And and they say that and there there's something that I've heard that like something that I've heard that like something that I've heard that like >> patriarchy damages men the most. >> patriarchy damages men the most. >> patriarchy damages men the most. >> Wow. I believe I believe it >> Wow. I believe I believe it >> Wow. I believe I believe it >> like and then >> like and then >> like and then >> the mentality of it. Yeah. Cuz it's a >> the mentality of it. Yeah. Cuz it's a >> the mentality of it. Yeah. Cuz it's a mentality, you know, you see it mentality, you know, you see it mentality, you know, you see it throughout different religions, you throughout different religions, you throughout different religions, you know, how that mentality can be like, know, how that mentality can be like, know, how that mentality can be like, >> oh, you can't do nothing. You're just >> oh, you can't do nothing. You're just >> oh, you can't do nothing. You're just going to stay at home, have babies, and going to stay at home, have babies, and going to stay at home, have babies, and that's it. That's that's your job. And that's it. That's that's your job. And that's it. That's that's your job. And then then then >> we have so much more to give. you know, >> we have so much more to give. you know, >> we have so much more to give. you know, we have we're full human beings with we have we're full human beings with we have we're full human beings with emotions and, you know, like full emotions and, you know, like full emotions and, you know, like full abilities to do things. And I I feel abilities to do things. And I I feel abilities to do things. And I I feel like it the oppression we're born into like it the oppression we're born into like it the oppression we're born into the oppression. We really are. And it's the oppression. We really are. And it's the oppression. We really are. And it's like you said, ancestral families,

like you said, ancestral families, like you said, ancestral families, religions, all allin-one, you know, religions, all allin-one, you know, religions, all allin-one, you know, >> colonization. It colonization alone. >> colonization. It colonization alone. >> colonization. It colonization alone. [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] >> Let's not go that far. >> Let's not go that far. >> Let's not go that far. >> Our countries exist. >> Our countries exist. >> Our countries exist. >> Yes, most definitely. They take over >> Yes, most definitely. They take over >> Yes, most definitely. They take over things and they're not going to ask things and they're not going to ask things and they're not going to ask questions, you know? They're not going questions, you know? They're not going questions, you know? They're not going to ask, "Excuse me, I'm coming in." No, to ask, "Excuse me, I'm coming in." No, to ask, "Excuse me, I'm coming in." No, they're just going to go and do it. they're just going to go and do it. they're just going to go and do it. pillage. How much has it in the Bible? pillage. How much has it in the Bible? pillage. How much has it in the Bible? >> Yes. In the Bible, in our in our >> Yes. In the Bible, in our in our >> Yes. In the Bible, in our in our >> in all of like our history, >> in all of like our history, >> in all of like our history, >> American history is the same thing. >> American history is the same thing. >> American history is the same thing. >> Like that's how that's how we took over >> Like that's how that's how we took over >> Like that's how that's how we took over the world, right? Like that's how the the world, right? Like that's how the the world, right? Like that's how the world got world got world got >> to be. Yeah. To be the world that we're >> to be. Yeah. To be the world that we're >> to be. Yeah. To be the world that we're in now. Most definitely. Most in now. Most definitely. Most in now. Most definitely. Most definitely. And I think definitely. And I think definitely. And I think >> Yeah. There's there's a there's a quote >> Yeah. There's there's a there's a quote >> Yeah. There's there's a there's a quote that's like there's something else that that's like there's something else that that's like there's something else that I've heard that the the last place the I've heard that the the last place the I've heard that the the last place the colonizer leaves is your mind. colonizer leaves is your mind. colonizer leaves is your mind. Cuz if you really like [laughter] if you Cuz if you really like [laughter] if you Cuz if you really like [laughter] if you really think about that really think about that really think about that >> how like really thinking and and like >> how like really thinking and and like >> how like really thinking and and like thinking about about your mind because a thinking about about your mind because a thinking about about your mind because a mental health right a mental health mental health right a mental health mental health right a mental health professional professional professional >> it's not just like your diagnosis it's >> it's not just like your diagnosis it's >> it's not just like your diagnosis it's not just not just not just >> you can have anxiety or you can have >> you can have anxiety or you can have >> you can have anxiety or you can have depression or you can have these things depression or you can have these things depression or you can have these things that I used to work with that are that I used to work with that are that I used to work with that are diagnosed diagnosed diagnosed >> but what is actually happening >> but what is actually happening >> but what is actually happening neurologically.

neurologically. neurologically. >> Yes. Mentally. Yes. And that's that's >> Yes. Mentally. Yes. And that's that's >> Yes. Mentally. Yes. And that's that's why we have in our logos, you'll see why we have in our logos, you'll see why we have in our logos, you'll see little brains. And if you're here ever little brains. And if you're here ever little brains. And if you're here ever in the studio, you see you see little in the studio, you see you see little in the studio, you see you see little brains everywhere brains everywhere brains everywhere >> because not only is mental health like >> because not only is mental health like >> because not only is mental health like the diagnosis, but the diagnosis, but the diagnosis, but >> your neurological connections. >> your neurological connections. >> your neurological connections. >> Correct. >> Correct. >> Correct. >> And then your mindset like like how how >> And then your mindset like like how how >> And then your mindset like like how how you think about yourself in your brain. you think about yourself in your brain. you think about yourself in your brain. >> Most definitely. Yeah. >> Most definitely. Yeah. >> Most definitely. Yeah. >> How that affects >> How that affects >> How that affects >> how do you talk to yourself >> how do you talk to yourself >> how do you talk to yourself >> the world like how that affects your >> the world like how that affects your >> the world like how that affects your world view and and how you see the world view and and how you see the world view and and how you see the world. world. world. >> Most definitely. And so if you've always >> Most definitely. And so if you've always >> Most definitely. And so if you've always been oppressed, if you if you've always been oppressed, if you if you've always been oppressed, if you if you've always is it I mean I'm I'm very not religious is it I mean I'm I'm very not religious is it I mean I'm I'm very not religious and and my I grew up very Catholic and and and my I grew up very Catholic and and and my I grew up very Catholic and so like having to come out of that was so like having to come out of that was so like having to come out of that was huge. huge. huge. >> Oh yes. >> Oh yes. >> Oh yes. >> Like I still I still get >> Like I still I still get >> Like I still I still get >> it's a rewiring. >> it's a rewiring. >> it's a rewiring. >> I still get in fights with my with my >> I still get in fights with my with my >> I still get in fights with my with my with all of my family because I with all of my family because I with all of my family because I [laughter] don't [laughter] don't [laughter] don't >> I do. I do too. Don't worry. It's an >> I do. I do too. Don't worry. It's an >> I do. I do too. Don't worry. It's an ongoing battle. ongoing battle. ongoing battle. >> But it goes like the last the last time >> But it goes like the last the last time >> But it goes like the last the last time we I I did I was in an argument I was we I I did I was in an argument I was we I I did I was in an argument I was like it's if you look at it it's it's an like it's if you look at it it's it's an like it's if you look at it it's it's an oppressive mentality and I just don't oppressive mentality and I just don't oppressive mentality and I just don't agree with it anymore. like I just agree with it anymore. like I just agree with it anymore. like I just cannot. And once you really start seeing cannot. And once you really start seeing cannot. And once you really start seeing it and you start seeing these patterns, it and you start seeing these patterns, it and you start seeing these patterns, right, we were talking about patterns right, we were talking about patterns right, we were talking about patterns and and and >> like I love going down rabbit holes and >> like I love going down rabbit holes and >> like I love going down rabbit holes and I love researching because it exposes I love researching because it exposes I love researching because it exposes you to to so much.

you to to so much. you to to so much. >> It does >> It does >> It does >> that you're like and I can't now that >> that you're like and I can't now that >> that you're like and I can't now that I've learned that like now that I see I've learned that like now that I see I've learned that like now that I see how how how colonization is in like every threat of colonization is in like every threat of colonization is in like every threat of society. society. society. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> And how it and how sexuality is used >> And how it and how sexuality is used >> And how it and how sexuality is used with it. how like uh people being numbed with it. how like uh people being numbed with it. how like uh people being numbed with alcohol and and different types of with alcohol and and different types of with alcohol and and different types of substances and all of these addictions substances and all of these addictions substances and all of these addictions that are put in front of us to distract that are put in front of us to distract that are put in front of us to distract us, us, us, >> how that keeps us oppressed, but we >> how that keeps us oppressed, but we >> how that keeps us oppressed, but we think we're free. think we're free. think we're free. >> Just like all of these different things >> Just like all of these different things >> Just like all of these different things that you're like, that you're like, that you're like, >> it's not really. >> it's not really. >> it's not really. >> You can't unsee it. >> You can't unsee it. >> You can't unsee it. >> No. Yeah, you can't. It's not an escape. >> No. Yeah, you can't. It's not an escape. >> No. Yeah, you can't. It's not an escape. You're not escaping anything, you know, You're not escaping anything, you know, You're not escaping anything, you know, by doing that. And I feel like like you by doing that. And I feel like like you by doing that. And I feel like like you said like religion was brought over, you said like religion was brought over, you said like religion was brought over, you know, to to the Americas to actually know, to to the Americas to actually know, to to the Americas to actually oppress the people, you know, and oppress the people, you know, and oppress the people, you know, and actually keep them conformed and be be actually keep them conformed and be be actually keep them conformed and be be able to actually like manipulate the able to actually like manipulate the able to actually like manipulate the masses, you know, and that has that masses, you know, and that has that masses, you know, and that has that affects us long term. It affects us, you affects us long term. It affects us, you affects us long term. It affects us, you know, generations, you know, afterwards. know, generations, you know, afterwards. know, generations, you know, afterwards. And and it's so important to actually And and it's so important to actually And and it's so important to actually speak about it because it is it is speak about it because it is it is speak about it because it is it is rooted in our in our culture and our rooted in our in our culture and our rooted in our in our culture and our blood and our in our people, you know, blood and our in our people, you know, blood and our in our people, you know, and unfortunately we have to be and unfortunately we have to be and unfortunately we have to be sometimes the black sheep and cut those sometimes the black sheep and cut those sometimes the black sheep and cut those ties and it we are the ones that go up ties and it we are the ones that go up ties and it we are the ones that go up against everyone. But at the same time, against everyone. But at the same time, against everyone. But at the same time, I feel like we need to like speak up I feel like we need to like speak up I feel like we need to like speak up about it and be like, hey, this is why I about it and be like, hey, this is why I about it and be like, hey, this is why I think like this, you know, like you think like this, you know, like you think like this, you know, like you said, we go through rabbit holes. We've said, we go through rabbit holes. We've said, we go through rabbit holes. We've gone through research, you know, gone through research, you know, gone through research, you know, countless, you know, data and and, you countless, you know, data and and, you countless, you know, data and and, you know, all types of stuff that that know, all types of stuff that that know, all types of stuff that that really opens up our mind, you know, to really opens up our mind, you know, to really opens up our mind, you know, to to actually what is really going on and to actually what is really going on and to actually what is really going on and has been going on for centuries.

has been going on for centuries. has been going on for centuries. >> Yeah. You know, I was telling you about >> Yeah. You know, I was telling you about >> Yeah. You know, I was telling you about about when I was working with Art about when I was working with Art about when I was working with Art Publicico Press and I was getting my Publicico Press and I was getting my Publicico Press and I was getting my masters in social work masters in social work masters in social work >> and doing uh this research project and >> and doing uh this research project and >> and doing uh this research project and it was called the normalization of it was called the normalization of it was called the normalization of domestic violence in periodicals. domestic violence in periodicals. domestic violence in periodicals. >> Wow. Um, and so Art Publo has a project >> Wow. Um, and so Art Publo has a project >> Wow. Um, and so Art Publo has a project called Recovery where they've been called Recovery where they've been called Recovery where they've been collecting periodicals written in collecting periodicals written in collecting periodicals written in Spanish in the US from like 1830, 1850 Spanish in the US from like 1830, 1850 Spanish in the US from like 1830, 1850 were the the oldest ones that I've seen. were the the oldest ones that I've seen. were the the oldest ones that I've seen. >> And so, so we were collecting, we just >> And so, so we were collecting, we just >> And so, so we were collecting, we just started with keywords of like domestic started with keywords of like domestic started with keywords of like domestic violence. violence. violence. >> Domestic violence. Okay. >> Domestic violence. Okay. >> Domestic violence. Okay. >> And then then you follow other keywords >> And then then you follow other keywords >> And then then you follow other keywords that come up with that, but you so it's that come up with that, but you so it's that come up with that, but you so it's like it's it's periodicals that have like it's it's periodicals that have like it's it's periodicals that have been put up uploaded into into a been put up uploaded into into a been put up uploaded into into a database. database. database. >> Okay. And so the keywords will point you >> Okay. And so the keywords will point you >> Okay. And so the keywords will point you to different articles. to different articles. to different articles. >> Okay? >> Okay? >> Okay? >> So from domestic violence, you read the >> So from domestic violence, you read the >> So from domestic violence, you read the other articles and then you see more other articles and then you see more other articles and then you see more keywords in there and then kind of start keywords in there and then kind of start keywords in there and then kind of start following the keywords and just kind of following the keywords and just kind of following the keywords and just kind of follow them the bricks and see and see follow them the bricks and see and see follow them the bricks and see and see where you end up. And where you end up. And where you end up. And and like some of the things that I that and like some of the things that I that and like some of the things that I that I would find it was like like this lady I would find it was like like this lady I would find it was like like this lady this lady married a guy and and when he this lady married a guy and and when he this lady married a guy and and when he got home the the dishes weren't cleaned got home the the dishes weren't cleaned got home the the dishes weren't cleaned and then he beat her up and it was like and then he beat her up and it was like and then he beat her up and it was like in the comedy section [snorts] in the comedy section [snorts] in the comedy section [snorts] [sighs and gasps] [sighs and gasps] [sighs and gasps] >> or like or like they got married and and >> or like or like they got married and and >> or like or like they got married and and he didn't want her so he took her back he didn't want her so he took her back he didn't want her so he took her back and the parents told her that he and the parents told her that he and the parents told her that he couldn't so they just beat her up.

couldn't so they just beat her up. couldn't so they just beat her up. >> Oh my god. Like it always just ended up >> Oh my god. Like it always just ended up >> Oh my god. Like it always just ended up in like in like in like >> domestic violence. >> domestic violence. >> domestic violence. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And like and then it was >> And like and then it was >> And like and then it was >> and they make it funny like it's like a >> and they make it funny like it's like a >> and they make it funny like it's like a moment. moment. moment. >> And then how we idolize idolize like the >> And then how we idolize idolize like the >> And then how we idolize idolize like the macho culture, how we idolize the macho culture, how we idolize the macho culture, how we idolize the playboys, the machismo. Yeah. Like the playboys, the machismo. Yeah. Like the playboys, the machismo. Yeah. Like the players, right? How we like you you see players, right? How we like you you see players, right? How we like you you see you see that in every type of media. you see that in every type of media. you see that in every type of media. >> Every single one >> Every single one >> Every single one >> like like any TV show like double >> like like any TV show like double >> like like any TV show like double >> and it gets idolized and it really gets >> and it gets idolized and it really gets >> and it gets idolized and it really gets idolized like oh you're this badass or idolized like oh you're this badass or idolized like oh you're this badass or you know what I mean? And it's like, you know what I mean? And it's like, you know what I mean? And it's like, bro, like, no, you probably have more bro, like, no, you probably have more bro, like, no, you probably have more trauma bonds than anybody else here. trauma bonds than anybody else here. trauma bonds than anybody else here. >> And then you see that trickle into >> And then you see that trickle into >> And then you see that trickle into society. Like, you see you see how men society. Like, you see you see how men society. Like, you see you see how men then play those roles, how people are then play those roles, how people are then play those roles, how people are just playing these roles that you see in just playing these roles that you see in just playing these roles that you see in media media media >> and just like trying to live up to these >> and just like trying to live up to these >> and just like trying to live up to these things things things >> that is, >> that is, >> that is, >> but there's still it's still >> but there's still it's still >> but there's still it's still unconscious. unconscious. unconscious. >> It's so Yes. It's subconsciously. Yes. >> It's so Yes. It's subconsciously. Yes. >> It's so Yes. It's subconsciously. Yes. Yes. It's subconsciously and and and Yes. It's subconsciously and and and Yes. It's subconsciously and and and [clears throat] let me say horrible [clears throat] let me say horrible [clears throat] let me say horrible rewiring of the brain. Like it it just rewiring of the brain. Like it it just rewiring of the brain. Like it it just it's so detrimental. It it helps no one. it's so detrimental. It it helps no one. it's so detrimental. It it helps no one. I really think relationships and yes, it I really think relationships and yes, it I really think relationships and yes, it is. It's most definitely brain damage.

is. It's most definitely brain damage. is. It's most definitely brain damage. You know, they say that You know, they say that You know, they say that >> um depression, you know, can turn off >> um depression, you know, can turn off >> um depression, you know, can turn off certain parts of your brain. You know, certain parts of your brain. You know, certain parts of your brain. You know, if you've been in depression for so many if you've been in depression for so many if you've been in depression for so many years, it's very years, it's very years, it's very >> like mentally like it can turn off >> like mentally like it can turn off >> like mentally like it can turn off certain parts and it's just certain parts and it's just certain parts and it's just >> you can't fully cognitively, you know, >> you can't fully cognitively, you know, >> you can't fully cognitively, you know, move forward and you're stuck. You know, move forward and you're stuck. You know, move forward and you're stuck. You know, you get stuck. It's it's there's a you get stuck. It's it's there's a you get stuck. It's it's there's a saying um if you're living in the past saying um if you're living in the past saying um if you're living in the past you're living in depression but if you're living in depression but if you're living in depression but if you're living in the future you're you're living in the future you're you're living in the future you're living in anxiety. So that's why you living in anxiety. So that's why you living in anxiety. So that's why you have to be present you know and and have to be present you know and and have to be present you know and and knowing that is so important because knowing that is so important because knowing that is so important because it's like it's like it's like >> a lot of people are depressed because of >> a lot of people are depressed because of >> a lot of people are depressed because of what happened with their traumas. I what happened with their traumas. I what happened with their traumas. I believe that we all have traumas. I believe that we all have traumas. I believe that we all have traumas. I believe that we all have gone through believe that we all have gone through believe that we all have gone through certain things in our childhood and our certain things in our childhood and our certain things in our childhood and our adulthood in our life, you know, that adulthood in our life, you know, that adulthood in our life, you know, that has either somehow came to the has either somehow came to the has either somehow came to the realization of of a trauma, you know, a realization of of a trauma, you know, a realization of of a trauma, you know, a certain type of trauma, any type of certain type of trauma, any type of certain type of trauma, any type of trauma. But you you you shouldn't be a trauma. But you you you shouldn't be a trauma. But you you you shouldn't be a victim to your trauma. You should you victim to your trauma. You should you victim to your trauma. You should you should change it. You should alchemize should change it. You should alchemize should change it. You should alchemize it. You should you should not be it. You should you should not be it. You should you should not be stay a victim. That's what I'm trying to stay a victim. That's what I'm trying to stay a victim. That's what I'm trying to say. Don't stay a victim. You might have say. Don't stay a victim. You might have say. Don't stay a victim. You might have been a victim, but don't stay it. You been a victim, but don't stay it. You been a victim, but don't stay it. You know, and that victim mentality is so know, and that victim mentality is so know, and that victim mentality is so detrimental as well, you know, that that detrimental as well, you know, that that detrimental as well, you know, that that it keeps you stuck.

it keeps you stuck. it keeps you stuck. >> And I really feel like a lot of our >> And I really feel like a lot of our >> And I really feel like a lot of our people are stuck, you know, and certain people are stuck, you know, and certain people are stuck, you know, and certain traumas, you know, like their parents, traumas, you know, like their parents, traumas, you know, like their parents, they saw their parents fighting and now they saw their parents fighting and now they saw their parents fighting and now they have relationships and think that they have relationships and think that they have relationships and think that by fighting is showing love, you know, by fighting is showing love, you know, by fighting is showing love, you know, it's it's so backwards sometimes the way it's it's so backwards sometimes the way it's it's so backwards sometimes the way that we actually think. that we actually think. that we actually think. >> Yeah. I think I I think it's it's really >> Yeah. I think I I think it's it's really >> Yeah. I think I I think it's it's really um like we're just repeating cycles. um like we're just repeating cycles. um like we're just repeating cycles. Like people are just it's like zombie Like people are just it's like zombie Like people are just it's like zombie mode. mode. mode. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Or like robot mode or whatever type. >> Or like robot mode or whatever type. >> Or like robot mode or whatever type. Like you're you're not really even Like you're you're not really even Like you're you're not really even noticing that you're that you're playing noticing that you're that you're playing noticing that you're that you're playing out these patterns that you're playing out these patterns that you're playing out these patterns that you're playing out the same thing that was happening in out the same thing that was happening in out the same thing that was happening in your family. your family. your family. >> It's just unconscious. >> It's just unconscious. >> It's just unconscious. >> It is. And like I I because there's been >> It is. And like I I because there's been >> It is. And like I I because there's been relationships that I've been in that relationships that I've been in that relationships that I've been in that like like I feel like like I'm like are like like I feel like like I'm like are like like I feel like like I'm like are they fully conscious that they're they fully conscious that they're they fully conscious that they're treating me this way? Like are they are treating me this way? Like are they are treating me this way? Like are they are they fully aware that that they are that they fully aware that that they are that they fully aware that that they are that big of an [ __ ] as they are like big of an [ __ ] as they are like big of an [ __ ] as they are like >> or is it like I I really question it. >> or is it like I I really question it. >> or is it like I I really question it. Like I feel like like it's like they Like I feel like like it's like they Like I feel like like it's like they black out or it's like this other like black out or it's like this other like black out or it's like this other like whatever that takes over that like whatever that takes over that like whatever that takes over that like >> cuz I'm like or unless you do know and >> cuz I'm like or unless you do know and >> cuz I'm like or unless you do know and you just don't care. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

you just don't care. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. you just don't care. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> But I do feel that there is some >> But I do feel that there is some >> But I do feel that there is some subconscious like just things playing subconscious like just things playing subconscious like just things playing out that that we're not aware of and out that that we're not aware of and out that that we're not aware of and that's why it's subconscious, right? that's why it's subconscious, right? that's why it's subconscious, right? >> Most definitely. Yes, >> Most definitely. Yes, >> Most definitely. Yes, >> it is. And I do want to speak about, you >> it is. And I do want to speak about, you >> it is. And I do want to speak about, you know, just different kinds of abuse know, just different kinds of abuse know, just different kinds of abuse because we have been talking about, you because we have been talking about, you because we have been talking about, you know, we've all gone through certain know, we've all gone through certain know, we've all gone through certain types of abuse, you know, and sometimes types of abuse, you know, and sometimes types of abuse, you know, and sometimes we don't usually can pinpoint it, you we don't usually can pinpoint it, you we don't usually can pinpoint it, you know, we might go through it, we might know, we might go through it, we might know, we might go through it, we might go through the cycles, but until you go through the cycles, but until you go through the cycles, but until you know what it really is and you boil it know what it really is and you boil it know what it really is and you boil it down to the definition and actually what down to the definition and actually what down to the definition and actually what you've you've gone through, you felt, you've you've gone through, you felt, you've you've gone through, you felt, you've you know, you've seen your you've you know, you've seen your you've you know, you've seen your people, your family, your friends go people, your family, your friends go people, your family, your friends go through it. Um I just want to define a through it. Um I just want to define a through it. Um I just want to define a couple of different kinds of abuse. Um couple of different kinds of abuse. Um couple of different kinds of abuse. Um uh just so we could go ahead and and you uh just so we could go ahead and and you uh just so we could go ahead and and you know share that information with others. know share that information with others. know share that information with others. Um the types of abuse and different Um the types of abuse and different Um the types of abuse and different kinds of abuse. Um we have abuse. The kinds of abuse. Um we have abuse. The kinds of abuse. Um we have abuse. The definition of abuse is a pattern or definition of abuse is a pattern or definition of abuse is a pattern or behavior used to gain power and control behavior used to gain power and control behavior used to gain power and control over another person. Um physical abuse, over another person. Um physical abuse, over another person. Um physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, verbal sexual abuse, emotional abuse, verbal sexual abuse, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, financial abuse. Um we also have abuse, financial abuse. Um we also have abuse, financial abuse. Um we also have uh digital abuse. Now that we live in uh digital abuse. Now that we live in uh digital abuse. Now that we live in the technology world, there's digital the technology world, there's digital the technology world, there's digital abuse. You know that people will take abuse. You know that people will take abuse. You know that people will take your passwords and go through your your passwords and go through your your passwords and go through your phones and go through your, you know, phones and go through your, you know, phones and go through your, you know, Facebook, Instagram, all these other Facebook, Instagram, all these other Facebook, Instagram, all these other stuff. You know, techn technology has stuff. You know, techn technology has stuff. You know, techn technology has played a bigger role now. I feel in played a bigger role now. I feel in played a bigger role now. I feel in tracking you, GPS tracking you. I know tracking you, GPS tracking you. I know tracking you, GPS tracking you. I know I've heard um a friend of mine was I've heard um a friend of mine was I've heard um a friend of mine was actually saying that she got a a air tag actually saying that she got a a air tag actually saying that she got a a air tag in her gas tank, you know, by her

in her gas tank, you know, by her in her gas tank, you know, by her ex-boyfriend and she was getting tracked ex-boyfriend and she was getting tracked ex-boyfriend and she was getting tracked everywhere she went and she didn't know everywhere she went and she didn't know everywhere she went and she didn't know how and why, but it's because she had a how and why, but it's because she had a how and why, but it's because she had a GPS in her car that she had no clue GPS in her car that she had no clue GPS in her car that she had no clue about, about, about, >> you know. So, it gets so detrimental, >> you know. So, it gets so detrimental, >> you know. So, it gets so detrimental, you know, to to people, to women, you you know, to to people, to women, you you know, to to people, to women, you know, that that go through these things know, that that go through these things know, that that go through these things and it's and it gets very serious and and it's and it gets very serious and and it's and it gets very serious and it's very scary at times, you know. Um it's very scary at times, you know. Um it's very scary at times, you know. Um there's psychological abuse. Um there's psychological abuse. Um there's psychological abuse. Um gaslighting, narcissistic abuse, uh gaslighting, narcissistic abuse, uh gaslighting, narcissistic abuse, uh manipulation, lying, um stalking and manipulation, lying, um stalking and manipulation, lying, um stalking and harassment is another one as well. So I harassment is another one as well. So I harassment is another one as well. So I do feel like it's very important to do feel like it's very important to do feel like it's very important to actually pinpoint the type of abuse that actually pinpoint the type of abuse that actually pinpoint the type of abuse that you've gone through so you could you've gone through so you could you've gone through so you could actually better help others as well. Not actually better help others as well. Not actually better help others as well. Not only yourself, healing yourself, but only yourself, healing yourself, but only yourself, healing yourself, but better help other people and understand better help other people and understand better help other people and understand others as well. you know, we've all gone others as well. you know, we've all gone others as well. you know, we've all gone through some type of something, you through some type of something, you through some type of something, you know, and I feel like the more know, and I feel like the more know, and I feel like the more information that you can inform yourself information that you can inform yourself information that you can inform yourself is the better that you can actually, you is the better that you can actually, you is the better that you can actually, you know, heal and portray and help others know, heal and portray and help others know, heal and portray and help others as well. You know, I think sometimes we as well. You know, I think sometimes we as well. You know, I think sometimes we might go through something, but you might go through something, but you might go through something, but you might be, you know, the catalyst to might be, you know, the catalyst to might be, you know, the catalyst to someone else for them not to go through someone else for them not to go through someone else for them not to go through it. And I feel like that's why it's it. And I feel like that's why it's it. And I feel like that's why it's important to have these conversations.

important to have these conversations. important to have these conversations. They're hard conversations. They're They're hard conversations. They're They're hard conversations. They're touchy conversations, but they're touchy conversations, but they're touchy conversations, but they're necessary. necessary. necessary. >> They're very much so necessary. And um >> They're very much so necessary. And um >> They're very much so necessary. And um agree agree agree >> uh we have you know different cycles of >> uh we have you know different cycles of >> uh we have you know different cycles of abuse um abuse before and after you know abuse um abuse before and after you know abuse um abuse before and after you know like we're saying there's patterns like we're saying there's patterns like we're saying there's patterns there's patterns to having you know the there's patterns to having you know the there's patterns to having you know the cycle continue and you know it's it's cycle continue and you know it's it's cycle continue and you know it's it's either the tension incidents the either the tension incidents the either the tension incidents the honeymoon now we're calm and now we honeymoon now we're calm and now we honeymoon now we're calm and now we repeat it again and now we're back to repeat it again and now we're back to repeat it again and now we're back to the same cycle of abuse again. So, it's the same cycle of abuse again. So, it's the same cycle of abuse again. So, it's it's it's it's >> it's having that roller coaster ride, >> it's having that roller coaster ride, >> it's having that roller coaster ride, you know, the highs and the lows and oh you know, the highs and the lows and oh you know, the highs and the lows and oh my gosh, we're so in love today, but my gosh, we're so in love today, but my gosh, we're so in love today, but tomorrow it's a whole another thing, you tomorrow it's a whole another thing, you tomorrow it's a whole another thing, you know, and I feel like that's why a lot know, and I feel like that's why a lot know, and I feel like that's why a lot of women or a lot of just relationships of women or a lot of just relationships of women or a lot of just relationships get stuck in that, you know, because get stuck in that, you know, because get stuck in that, you know, because they're they have that hope for later they're they have that hope for later they're they have that hope for later to be better, you know, to be maybe to be better, you know, to be maybe to be better, you know, to be maybe tomorrow he's going to be in a better tomorrow he's going to be in a better tomorrow he's going to be in a better mood. Maybe tomorrow, maybe it was just mood. Maybe tomorrow, maybe it was just mood. Maybe tomorrow, maybe it was just a bad day that he's having. maybe you a bad day that he's having. maybe you a bad day that he's having. maybe you start, you know, making up excuses left start, you know, making up excuses left start, you know, making up excuses left and right as to why they might be doing and right as to why they might be doing and right as to why they might be doing something, you know, and sometimes you something, you know, and sometimes you something, you know, and sometimes you really just have to stop really just have to stop really just have to stop >> and think like, okay, am I >> and think like, okay, am I >> and think like, okay, am I >> am I getting manipulated? Am I getting >> am I getting manipulated? Am I getting >> am I getting manipulated? Am I getting lied to? Am I getting gas lit? You know, lied to? Am I getting gas lit? You know, lied to? Am I getting gas lit? You know, am I going to, you know, step outside?

am I going to, you know, step outside? am I going to, you know, step outside? And it's going to be a whole different And it's going to be a whole different And it's going to be a whole different type of deal, you know, as soon as I type of deal, you know, as soon as I type of deal, you know, as soon as I step out of the room. And, you know, step out of the room. And, you know, step out of the room. And, you know, behind closed doors, a lot of things behind closed doors, a lot of things behind closed doors, a lot of things happen as well. So, you never know what happen as well. So, you never know what happen as well. So, you never know what people are really going through. And people are really going through. And people are really going through. And that's why it's so important just to that's why it's so important just to that's why it's so important just to like really reach out, have a friend, like really reach out, have a friend, like really reach out, have a friend, have a safe space to be able to actually have a safe space to be able to actually have a safe space to be able to actually just, you know, be vulnerable once in a just, you know, be vulnerable once in a just, you know, be vulnerable once in a while when you know with someone and while when you know with someone and while when you know with someone and just be, just be, just be, >> you know, the importance of just like >> you know, the importance of just like >> you know, the importance of just like actually being in a safe space and what actually being in a safe space and what actually being in a safe space and what that means. that means. that means. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Right. And so and so for us as >> Right. And so and so for us as >> Right. And so and so for us as Creattopia, what it means when we're Creattopia, what it means when we're Creattopia, what it means when we're saying we're creating a safe space for saying we're creating a safe space for saying we're creating a safe space for anybody that comes in here to feel safe. anybody that comes in here to feel safe. anybody that comes in here to feel safe. >> Yes. the the type of standard that we >> Yes. the the type of standard that we >> Yes. the the type of standard that we need to uphold ourselves to, you know, need to uphold ourselves to, you know, need to uphold ourselves to, you know, like like what that means, like like what that means, like like what that means, >> what it really means >> what it really means >> what it really means >> and what like our what we have to have >> and what like our what we have to have >> and what like our what we have to have no tolerance for like the things that no tolerance for like the things that no tolerance for like the things that >> that as as the leader and as like the >> that as as the leader and as like the >> that as as the leader and as like the visionary like what I have to continue visionary like what I have to continue visionary like what I have to continue to to make sure that anybody that's to to make sure that anybody that's to to make sure that anybody that's coming in coming in coming in >> because I understand >> because I understand >> because I understand >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> that that we've all gone through the >> that that we've all gone through the >> that that we've all gone through the through this. I understand that and at through this. I understand that and at through this. I understand that and at every point of our of of growth and like every point of our of of growth and like every point of our of of growth and like at every point in society, we've we've at every point in society, we've we've at every point in society, we've we've experienced this and so people will experienced this and so people will experienced this and so people will bring it in and that's fine.

bring it in and that's fine. bring it in and that's fine. >> But but you need to level up to to be >> But but you need to level up to to be >> But but you need to level up to to be able to actually continue to create the able to actually continue to create the able to actually continue to create the safe space safe space safe space >> and we all do. >> and we all do. >> and we all do. >> Yes. And and so that's that's really >> Yes. And and so that's that's really >> Yes. And and so that's that's really what like what we're building and and what like what we're building and and what like what we're building and and what we what we're advocating for and what we what we're advocating for and what we what we're advocating for and and like for me is you you walk your and like for me is you you walk your and like for me is you you walk your talk and you and you and you do what you talk and you and you and you do what you talk and you and you and you do what you say. Like I am a person of my word. say. Like I am a person of my word. say. Like I am a person of my word. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Like I what I say is what I do. Like I I >> Like I what I say is what I do. Like I I >> Like I what I say is what I do. Like I I >> I don't believe in lying. I can't lie. >> I don't believe in lying. I can't lie. >> I don't believe in lying. I can't lie. >> Yeah. [laughter] No same. >> Yeah. [laughter] No same. >> Yeah. [laughter] No same. >> I really can't. And so for me if I say >> I really can't. And so for me if I say >> I really can't. And so for me if I say something and I do something else that's something and I do something else that's something and I do something else that's lying. lying. lying. >> Yes. Yes. >> Yes. Yes. >> Yes. Yes. >> Right. And that's and that goes into >> Right. And that's and that goes into >> Right. And that's and that goes into glighting and and manipulation and and glighting and and manipulation and and glighting and and manipulation and and and again I understand that that people and again I understand that that people and again I understand that that people behave in in particular ways because behave in in particular ways because behave in in particular ways because that's what they've experienced that's what they've experienced that's what they've experienced >> and they don't understand how it's >> and they don't understand how it's >> and they don't understand how it's showing up in their behavior. showing up in their behavior. showing up in their behavior. >> Exactly. >> Exactly. >> Exactly. >> And how like all of these different >> And how like all of these different >> And how like all of these different things play into it like you were saying things play into it like you were saying things play into it like you were saying about like like the roller coasters. I about like like the roller coasters. I about like like the roller coasters. I do I I do think that it's a lot of do I I do think that it's a lot of do I I do think that it's a lot of addiction. Like there's actual like addiction. Like there's actual like addiction. Like there's actual like neurological addiction that happens in neurological addiction that happens in neurological addiction that happens in your brain when you go through those your brain when you go through those your brain when you go through those highs and lows, right? Like that's why highs and lows, right? Like that's why highs and lows, right? Like that's why people get addicted addictive drugs people get addicted addictive drugs people get addicted addictive drugs >> cuz you go to your high and then you and >> cuz you go to your high and then you and >> cuz you go to your high and then you and then you're you drop then you're you drop then you're you drop >> and so but you need to get high again so >> and so but you need to get high again so >> and so but you need to get high again so you have to go back to your drug and you have to go back to your drug and you have to go back to your drug and that's essentially what people are that's essentially what people are that's essentially what people are experiencing in relationships but it's experiencing in relationships but it's experiencing in relationships but it's just a person instead of like instead of just a person instead of like instead of just a person instead of like instead of drug but it's still affecting your brain drug but it's still affecting your brain drug but it's still affecting your brain in the same way of in the same way of in the same way of >> of you're feeling that high and then >> of you're feeling that high and then >> of you're feeling that high and then you're dropping low so you need your you're dropping low so you need your you're dropping low so you need your high again.

high again. high again. >> Yes, most definitely. I do do believe >> Yes, most definitely. I do do believe >> Yes, most definitely. I do do believe that and I do believe like you know that and I do believe like you know that and I do believe like you know being a black sheep or being you know being a black sheep or being you know being a black sheep or being you know the the catalyst to stop all that the the catalyst to stop all that the the catalyst to stop all that ancestral trauma you have to stand up ancestral trauma you have to stand up ancestral trauma you have to stand up you know it's a thing of like you said you know it's a thing of like you said you know it's a thing of like you said you can't be a liar and say like oh I you can't be a liar and say like oh I you can't be a liar and say like oh I can't I can't you know support this but can't I can't you know support this but can't I can't you know support this but then you know like you don't fully go then you know like you don't fully go then you know like you don't fully go through with it you know and and one of through with it you know and and one of through with it you know and and one of the things I've learned is the things I've learned is the things I've learned is to report abuse is one thing but to to report abuse is one thing but to to report abuse is one thing but to actual follow up and actually fully actual follow up and actually fully actual follow up and actually fully follow up and go through the whole follow up and go through the whole follow up and go through the whole process is another thing. You know, um I process is another thing. You know, um I process is another thing. You know, um I was speaking to a police officer and he was speaking to a police officer and he was speaking to a police officer and he was saying a lot of people do report was saying a lot of people do report was saying a lot of people do report abuse, abuse, abuse, >> but they don't show up to court. They >> but they don't show up to court. They >> but they don't show up to court. They don't, you know, they don't put don't, you know, they don't put don't, you know, they don't put restraining orders against their restraining orders against their restraining orders against their abusers. they don't uh go to show up and abusers. they don't uh go to show up and abusers. they don't uh go to show up and actually be like, "Hey, this is what actually be like, "Hey, this is what actually be like, "Hey, this is what actually happened." You know, and or actually happened." You know, and or actually happened." You know, and or they're ashamed or, you know, just they're ashamed or, you know, just they're ashamed or, you know, just certain things that really just play certain things that really just play certain things that really just play parts into all of that, you know, being parts into all of that, you know, being parts into all of that, you know, being out of your, you know, jurisdiction. You out of your, you know, jurisdiction. You out of your, you know, jurisdiction. You know, you can't report certain things in know, you can't report certain things in know, you can't report certain things in in certain police departments cuz that in certain police departments cuz that in certain police departments cuz that was out of their jurisdiction. And so was out of their jurisdiction. And so was out of their jurisdiction. And so now you have to go to another place and now you have to go to another place and now you have to go to another place and it's like a big old colossal of things it's like a big old colossal of things it's like a big old colossal of things that can happen, you know, beyond the that can happen, you know, beyond the that can happen, you know, beyond the abuse, abuse, abuse, >> you know, and that affect you as well, >> you know, and that affect you as well, >> you know, and that affect you as well, you know, and and all of that has to be you know, and and all of that has to be you know, and and all of that has to be talked about because talked about because talked about because >> it does affect, you know, and it affects >> it does affect, you know, and it affects >> it does affect, you know, and it affects how you show up and it affects how you how you show up and it affects how you how you show up and it affects how you can heal from things and and actually can heal from things and and actually can heal from things and and actually move forward with it and and not repeat move forward with it and and not repeat move forward with it and and not repeat the same cycle again, you know, and you

the same cycle again, you know, and you the same cycle again, you know, and you have to be the person to stand up for have to be the person to stand up for have to be the person to stand up for it. You have to be the person to go it. You have to be the person to go it. You have to be the person to go against the odds and go against against the odds and go against against the odds and go against everybody like you said. Yeah. Sometimes everybody like you said. Yeah. Sometimes everybody like you said. Yeah. Sometimes you have to go against your whole you have to go against your whole you have to go against your whole family, you know, because your family is family, you know, because your family is family, you know, because your family is we're Latinas. We're we're meant to we're Latinas. We're we're meant to we're Latinas. We're we're meant to like, oh, you're supposed to marry the like, oh, you're supposed to marry the like, oh, you're supposed to marry the man and keep man and keep man and keep >> with him 20, 30, 40, 50 years. And you >> with him 20, 30, 40, 50 years. And you >> with him 20, 30, 40, 50 years. And you know, go through that whole abusive know, go through that whole abusive know, go through that whole abusive relationship regardless of that's what relationship regardless of that's what relationship regardless of that's what you stand up for. Like like that's what you stand up for. Like like that's what you stand up for. Like like that's what you signed up for, you signed up for, you signed up for, >> you know, and and that's not that's not >> you know, and and that's not that's not >> you know, and and that's not that's not safe, you know. That's not safety. safe, you know. That's not safety. safe, you know. That's not safety. That's not that's not love. that's not, That's not that's not love. that's not, That's not that's not love. that's not, you know, the sense of like actually you know, the sense of like actually you know, the sense of like actually being in a healthy relationship. And I being in a healthy relationship. And I being in a healthy relationship. And I think that's so detrimental and and we think that's so detrimental and and we think that's so detrimental and and we should definitely speak about things, should definitely speak about things, should definitely speak about things, you know, whether you're young, old, you you know, whether you're young, old, you you know, whether you're young, old, you know, in between everything, your know, in between everything, your know, in between everything, your different stages in life. We all have different stages in life. We all have different stages in life. We all have relationships, either if it's like you relationships, either if it's like you relationships, either if it's like you said, your parents, your moms, your your said, your parents, your moms, your your said, your parents, your moms, your your family members, your friends, you know, family members, your friends, you know, family members, your friends, you know, yourself, you know, that can go through yourself, you know, that can go through yourself, you know, that can go through these type of relationships. And you these type of relationships. And you these type of relationships. And you have to know the patterns. You have to have to know the patterns. You have to have to know the patterns. You have to know what it is. you know, have to know know what it is. you know, have to know know what it is. you know, have to know other people like like you said, other other people like like you said, other other people like like you said, other people got brought up in different people got brought up in different people got brought up in different homes. You don't know what happened in homes. You don't know what happened in homes. You don't know what happened in that home, you know, getting getting that home, you know, getting getting that home, you know, getting getting brought up. You know, brought up. You know, brought up. You know, >> we interact with all different kinds of >> we interact with all different kinds of >> we interact with all different kinds of people. We're in Houston. We have so people. We're in Houston. We have so people. We're in Houston. We have so many different cultures and so many many different cultures and so many many different cultures and so many different backgrounds that they believe different backgrounds that they believe different backgrounds that they believe different things. You know, that different things. You know, that different things. You know, that machisma is so big in our culture, like machisma is so big in our culture, like machisma is so big in our culture, like under Latino culture, that under Latino culture, that under Latino culture, that >> it's acceptable. Like we're just, oh, >> it's acceptable. Like we're just, oh, >> it's acceptable. Like we're just, oh, it's just machismo. Oh, he's machista.

it's just machismo. Oh, he's machista. it's just machismo. Oh, he's machista. Like it's okay. like they have Like it's okay. like they have Like it's okay. like they have >> like he just has another family and a >> like he just has another family and a >> like he just has another family and a whole other like whole other like whole other like >> yeah a whole second family a whole >> yeah a whole second family a whole >> yeah a whole second family a whole different you know different you know different you know >> just beats up his wife and it's fine >> just beats up his wife and it's fine >> just beats up his wife and it's fine >> and then you're fine okay just go >> and then you're fine okay just go >> and then you're fine okay just go >> just go pray you'll be fine >> just go pray you'll be fine >> just go pray you'll be fine >> go pray go make dinner and go take the >> go pray go make dinner and go take the >> go pray go make dinner and go take the kids to their bed like no that's that is kids to their bed like no that's that is kids to their bed like no that's that is not acceptable not acceptable not acceptable >> take it and like the emotional like the >> take it and like the emotional like the >> take it and like the emotional like the emotional luggage the emotional baggage emotional luggage the emotional baggage emotional luggage the emotional baggage that women have to carry and and it that women have to carry and and it that women have to carry and and it happens to men too right happens to men too right happens to men too right >> it does it abuses any which way. Okay. >> it does it abuses any which way. Okay. >> it does it abuses any which way. Okay. It it does go It it does go It it does go >> but you but but the amount of just >> but you but but the amount of just >> but you but but the amount of just emotional emotional emotional um weight um weight um weight >> that women have to carry. >> that women have to carry. >> that women have to carry. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Right. [sighs and gasps] >> Right. [sighs and gasps] >> Right. [sighs and gasps] Like Like Like >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> If and and and it's and you and we think >> If and and and it's and you and we think >> If and and and it's and you and we think that cuz we're we're we're in 2026, that cuz we're we're we're in 2026, that cuz we're we're we're in 2026, right? Yeah. right? Yeah. right? Yeah. >> And we think that things are getting >> And we think that things are getting >> And we think that things are getting better, but then you hear about Andrew better, but then you hear about Andrew better, but then you hear about Andrew Tate, you hear about Trump, you hear Tate, you hear about Trump, you hear Tate, you hear about Trump, you hear about things that are not getting about things that are not getting about things that are not getting exposed, things that are just like exposed, things that are just like exposed, things that are just like getting brushed under the rug or they're getting brushed under the rug or they're getting brushed under the rug or they're trying to, but they're not going to.

trying to, but they're not going to. trying to, but they're not going to. >> No, of course. >> No, of course. >> No, of course. >> Because I I do think that at the same >> Because I I do think that at the same >> Because I I do think that at the same time, there's so many women that are time, there's so many women that are time, there's so many women that are waking up and they're like, "No, waking up and they're like, "No, waking up and they're like, "No, >> we're not taking it. We're not taking it >> we're not taking it. We're not taking it >> we're not taking it. We're not taking it more." You know, and it's like, more." You know, and it's like, more." You know, and it's like, >> but then also but then also this other >> but then also but then also this other >> but then also but then also this other guy, Clavicular, who who like openly guy, Clavicular, who who like openly guy, Clavicular, who who like openly talks about treating women, treating talks about treating women, treating talks about treating women, treating girls like they don't matter. like it girls like they don't matter. like it girls like they don't matter. like it doesn't matter if they're like you're doesn't matter if they're like you're doesn't matter if they're like you're you're the man, it's all about you. He you're the man, it's all about you. He you're the man, it's all about you. He like talks about he like chisels his like talks about he like chisels his like talks about he like chisels his face and like does all sorts of weird face and like does all sorts of weird face and like does all sorts of weird things and this is influence like and things and this is influence like and things and this is influence like and this is influence influencing our youth. this is influence influencing our youth. this is influence influencing our youth. It like this is what kids are are It like this is what kids are are It like this is what kids are are watching. watching. watching. >> Yeah. And they're believing it and >> Yeah. And they're believing it and >> Yeah. And they're believing it and they're exercising it, you know, and they're exercising it, you know, and they're exercising it, you know, and there it goes. The chains again we go there it goes. The chains again we go there it goes. The chains again we go again and again and again and for again and again and again and for again and again and again and for generations to come after that, you generations to come after that, you generations to come after that, you know, and it's know, and it's know, and it's >> it's it's very sad. It's it's sad, but >> it's it's very sad. It's it's sad, but >> it's it's very sad. It's it's sad, but at the same time, I refuse to be sad at the same time, I refuse to be sad at the same time, I refuse to be sad about it now. Yeah. I actually want to about it now. Yeah. I actually want to about it now. Yeah. I actually want to do something about it now, you know, and do something about it now, you know, and do something about it now, you know, and and and be able to actually inform and and be able to actually inform and and be able to actually inform people because you don't know, you know, people because you don't know, you know, people because you don't know, you know, until you've either you've gone through until you've either you've gone through until you've either you've gone through it yourself, seen it, you know, your it yourself, seen it, you know, your it yourself, seen it, you know, your family, friends, loved ones have have family, friends, loved ones have have family, friends, loved ones have have gone through it and gone through it and gone through it and >> every culture goes through it.

>> every culture goes through it. >> every culture goes through it. >> Yeah. I think it's like one in four >> Yeah. I think it's like one in four >> Yeah. I think it's like one in four women, the last time I checked, it was women, the last time I checked, it was women, the last time I checked, it was one in four women that experience some one in four women that experience some one in four women that experience some sort of abuse during them. sort of abuse during them. sort of abuse during them. >> Yeah. It's >> Yeah. It's >> Yeah. It's >> I think it's actual sexual abuse >> I think it's actual sexual abuse >> I think it's actual sexual abuse >> even. >> even. >> even. >> But I don't know. I don't know like like >> But I don't know. I don't know like like >> But I don't know. I don't know like like Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> The gravity of it. Yeah. Yeah. >> The gravity of it. Yeah. Yeah. >> The gravity of it. Yeah. Yeah. >> But just one and four and four. >> But just one and four and four. >> But just one and four and four. >> That's your friends. You literally have >> That's your friends. You literally have >> That's your friends. You literally have four friends and one of you have already four friends and one of you have already four friends and one of you have already been in some type of something, you been in some type of something, you been in some type of something, you know, and and they don't speak about it. know, and and they don't speak about it. know, and and they don't speak about it. They won't even speak about the things They won't even speak about the things They won't even speak about the things that they've gone through. You know, a that they've gone through. You know, a that they've gone through. You know, a lot of the times like you will go lot of the times like you will go lot of the times like you will go through this and it's like, oh no, don't through this and it's like, oh no, don't through this and it's like, oh no, don't say it. Don't talk about it. No, no, no. say it. Don't talk about it. No, no, no. say it. Don't talk about it. No, no, no. Like don't don't like you know, like Like don't don't like you know, like Like don't don't like you know, like it's shameful. It's like you're shunned, it's shameful. It's like you're shunned, it's shameful. It's like you're shunned, you know, to see you know, to see you know, to see >> what you even went through, you know, >> what you even went through, you know, >> what you even went through, you know, and that's not healing. That you can't and that's not healing. That you can't and that's not healing. That you can't heal like that. You can't heal in heal like that. You can't heal in heal like that. You can't heal in silence. We can't we no longer will do silence. We can't we no longer will do silence. We can't we no longer will do that, you know, and and that's why it is that, you know, and and that's why it is that, you know, and and that's why it is so important to have the the the hard so important to have the the the hard so important to have the the the hard conversations, you know, and and go conversations, you know, and and go conversations, you know, and and go through through through >> through this process, you know, of of >> through this process, you know, of of >> through this process, you know, of of actually understanding basically, you actually understanding basically, you actually understanding basically, you know. Um know. Um know. Um >> Yeah. But what it takes, you know, like >> Yeah. But what it takes, you know, like >> Yeah. But what it takes, you know, like what I mean, you talk about healing and what I mean, you talk about healing and what I mean, you talk about healing and you've mentioned feeling healing a few you've mentioned feeling healing a few you've mentioned feeling healing a few times.

times. times. But again, what it takes because in But again, what it takes because in But again, what it takes because in order to heal, you have to have a safe order to heal, you have to have a safe order to heal, you have to have a safe space. space. space. >> Yes. Yes. >> Yes. Yes. >> Yes. Yes. >> And what it takes for you to even >> And what it takes for you to even >> And what it takes for you to even acknowledge that. acknowledge that. acknowledge that. >> Very true. >> Very true. >> Very true. >> And then create it. >> And then create it. >> And then create it. >> And create it. >> And create it. >> And create it. >> And then if you're trying to survive an >> And then if you're trying to survive an >> And then if you're trying to survive an abusive relationship, if you just got abusive relationship, if you just got abusive relationship, if you just got out of an abusive relationship, this is out of an abusive relationship, this is out of an abusive relationship, this is what happened to me. what happened to me. what happened to me. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Like anytime I like my family did not >> Like anytime I like my family did not >> Like anytime I like my family did not support me. support me. support me. >> No. They it was it was not okay for me >> No. They it was it was not okay for me >> No. They it was it was not okay for me to leave abusive relationships. to leave abusive relationships. to leave abusive relationships. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> So So I had to do it all on my own in >> So So I had to do it all on my own in >> So So I had to do it all on my own in Houston by myself. Houston by myself. Houston by myself. >> By yourself. And that's so much harder >> By yourself. And that's so much harder >> By yourself. And that's so much harder that you have no support. that you have no support. that you have no support. >> You've gone through things and now you >> You've gone through things and now you >> You've gone through things and now you got to do it alone. got to do it alone. got to do it alone. >> And you know and I you know I say I say >> And you know and I you know I say I say >> And you know and I you know I say I say I I will say this. I I say I'm not I I will say this. I I say I'm not I I will say this. I I say I'm not religious, but I do believe in God religious, but I do believe in God religious, but I do believe in God >> and I do like shout out to Jesus >> and I do like shout out to Jesus >> and I do like shout out to Jesus [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] >> and shout out to Buddha and shout out to >> and shout out to Buddha and shout out to >> and shout out to Buddha and shout out to the actual like spiritual masters before the actual like spiritual masters before the actual like spiritual masters before they turned everything that they were they turned everything that they were they turned everything that they were teaching into religion teaching into religion teaching into religion >> because they were practicing really >> because they were practicing really >> because they were practicing really valuable things. But the reason I valuable things. But the reason I valuable things. But the reason I believe in God is because I made it believe in God is because I made it believe in God is because I made it through that.

through that. through that. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And it was only through like angels and >> And it was only through like angels and >> And it was only through like angels and people like just things that would people like just things that would people like just things that would happen that I made it. happen that I made it. happen that I made it. >> Yeah. Very true. Very very true. And I >> Yeah. Very true. Very very true. And I >> Yeah. Very true. Very very true. And I feel like that's another good thing to feel like that's another good thing to feel like that's another good thing to to actually, you know, talk about is to actually, you know, talk about is to actually, you know, talk about is >> when you're in the abusive >> when you're in the abusive >> when you're in the abusive relationships, a lot of the times people relationships, a lot of the times people relationships, a lot of the times people don't have a way out of it. They're don't have a way out of it. They're don't have a way out of it. They're either financially dependent on that either financially dependent on that either financially dependent on that person. person. person. >> They've made themselves, you know, the >> They've made themselves, you know, the >> They've made themselves, you know, the abuser has actually made that person to abuser has actually made that person to abuser has actually made that person to become, you know, financially unable to become, you know, financially unable to become, you know, financially unable to leave. You know, you don't have either leave. You know, you don't have either leave. You know, you don't have either transportation, you don't have another transportation, you don't have another transportation, you don't have another house, another car, someone to go to, house, another car, someone to go to, house, another car, someone to go to, friends. You get isolated. You get a friends. You get isolated. You get a friends. You get isolated. You get a slave. slave. slave. >> You're Yes. And you know, so so when I >> You're Yes. And you know, so so when I >> You're Yes. And you know, so so when I mentioned going down the rabbit hole mentioned going down the rabbit hole mentioned going down the rabbit hole when I was getting my masters, something when I was getting my masters, something when I was getting my masters, something that I got to specifically with with that I got to specifically with with that I got to specifically with with Mexican females was how when Ernan Mexican females was how when Ernan Mexican females was how when Ernan Cortez, which is Cortez, which is Cortez, which is >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> the col like how Mexico was colonized >> the col like how Mexico was colonized >> the col like how Mexico was colonized when Erdan Cortez met Laaline, when Erdan Cortez met Laaline, when Erdan Cortez met Laaline, >> which is Maria, I forgot her last name, >> which is Maria, I forgot her last name, >> which is Maria, I forgot her last name, what what her actual real name is, but what what her actual real name is, but what what her actual real name is, but they call her Laline now. But she was they call her Laline now. But she was they call her Laline now. But she was the first slave the first slave the first slave >> and she was 14 years old and she was >> and she was 14 years old and she was >> and she was 14 years old and she was just one of like nine that were given to just one of like nine that were given to just one of like nine that were given to him.

him. him. >> Yeah. [laughter] >> Yeah. [laughter] >> Yeah. [laughter] >> Like so you talk about like ancestry and >> Like so you talk about like ancestry and >> Like so you talk about like ancestry and you talk about like the stuff that were you talk about like the stuff that were you talk about like the stuff that were that were literally like having to that were literally like having to that were literally like having to unravel. But if you don't but if you unravel. But if you don't but if you unravel. But if you don't but if you don't believe in that history, but if don't believe in that history, but if don't believe in that history, but if you don't but if you don't like even you don't but if you don't like even you don't but if you don't like even question that what's happening to you question that what's happening to you question that what's happening to you like whether it's okay or not, you're like whether it's okay or not, you're like whether it's okay or not, you're never going to be able to like even even never going to be able to like even even never going to be able to like even even think about doing that research. think about doing that research. think about doing that research. >> Yes. Very. >> Yes. Very. >> Yes. Very. >> Let alone believe it. >> Let alone believe it. >> Let alone believe it. >> Once you see it, >> Once you see it, >> Once you see it, >> once you see it, >> once you see it, >> once you see it, >> but once you see it, like once I saw it, >> but once you see it, like once I saw it, >> but once you see it, like once I saw it, I was like, "Oh my gosh, [laughter] I was like, "Oh my gosh, [laughter] I was like, "Oh my gosh, [laughter] >> what that's how far back it goes." >> what that's how far back it goes." >> what that's how far back it goes." >> It does. It does. It's It's historical. >> It does. It does. It's It's historical. >> It does. It does. It's It's historical. It's written in history. the things that It's written in history. the things that It's written in history. the things that we have gone through, you know, and and we have gone through, you know, and and we have gone through, you know, and and that's why it is so important to that's why it is so important to that's why it is so important to >> to go into your own culture. >> to go into your own culture. >> to go into your own culture. [clears throat] I I say that because [clears throat] I I say that because [clears throat] I I say that because like you said, we're Mexican, you know, like you said, we're Mexican, you know, like you said, we're Mexican, you know, in our culture, we're we're very likeas, in our culture, we're we're very likeas, in our culture, we're we're very likeas, you know, like they love men to be, oh, you know, like they love men to be, oh, you know, like they love men to be, oh, and you have to say he's the leader and and you have to say he's the leader and and you have to say he's the leader and you're the, you know, the follower, he's you're the, you know, the follower, he's you're the, you know, the follower, he's the head and you're the neck and, you the head and you're the neck and, you the head and you're the neck and, you know, all these things. But it's like, know, all these things. But it's like, know, all these things. But it's like, where are you leading me to?

where are you leading me to? where are you leading me to? >> Yeah. Where are we going? Where are we >> Yeah. Where are we going? Where are we >> Yeah. Where are we going? Where are we going? [laughter] going? [laughter] going? [laughter] >> We going to hell. Where >> We going to hell. Where >> We going to hell. Where everything? everything? everything? >> And I still have to deal with you, your >> And I still have to deal with you, your >> And I still have to deal with you, your grown baby ass. No, I'm playing. grown baby ass. No, I'm playing. grown baby ass. No, I'm playing. [laughter] But it is it's true. It is [laughter] But it is it's true. It is [laughter] But it is it's true. It is true. And you know, like, true. And you know, like, true. And you know, like, >> and that's where it starts, you know. It >> and that's where it starts, you know. It >> and that's where it starts, you know. It starts with our culture, you know. It starts with our culture, you know. It starts with our culture, you know. It starts with those those stories that starts with those those stories that starts with those those stories that have been in history and have been in history and have been in history and >> they've been for years and generations >> they've been for years and generations >> they've been for years and generations and generations to come. like they did and generations to come. like they did and generations to come. like they did great things, but at the same time, what great things, but at the same time, what great things, but at the same time, what were they doing? What were they actually were they doing? What were they actually were they doing? What were they actually doing? doing? doing? >> And and and how like it's always it >> And and and how like it's always it >> And and and how like it's always it always shocks me how how women uphold always shocks me how how women uphold always shocks me how how women uphold the patriarchy. the patriarchy. the patriarchy. >> Like there's another quote, the pillars >> Like there's another quote, the pillars >> Like there's another quote, the pillars the pillars of patriarchy are are held the pillars of patriarchy are are held the pillars of patriarchy are are held by women. by women. by women. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Like how how and I remember this growing >> Like how how and I remember this growing >> Like how how and I remember this growing up like my mom would make me clean after up like my mom would make me clean after up like my mom would make me clean after my brothers. my brothers. my brothers. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Like they couldn't they couldn't >> Like they couldn't they couldn't >> Like they couldn't they couldn't >> they couldn't pick up their plates. >> they couldn't pick up their plates. >> they couldn't pick up their plates. >> Excuse me. Hello. [laughter] can't cook >> Excuse me. Hello. [laughter] can't cook >> Excuse me. Hello. [laughter] can't cook like like like >> Yes. And so for me to you know for us to >> Yes. And so for me to you know for us to >> Yes. And so for me to you know for us to live through that and to be like live through that and to be like live through that and to be like >> yeah and resentment you know I feel like >> yeah and resentment you know I feel like >> yeah and resentment you know I feel like that's when you start getting like the that's when you start getting like the that's when you start getting like the resentment and actually start getting resentment and actually start getting resentment and actually start getting like this like this like this >> this feeling against the opposing >> this feeling against the opposing >> this feeling against the opposing persons and the opposing sex and you persons and the opposing sex and you persons and the opposing sex and you know like men in general or like either know like men in general or like either know like men in general or like either it don't it don't matter. You don't have it don't it don't matter. You don't have it don't it don't matter. You don't have to be woman or or man to feel these type to be woman or or man to feel these type to be woman or or man to feel these type of feelings against the people, you of feelings against the people, you of feelings against the people, you know, and know, and know, and >> and it's so important to identify that, >> and it's so important to identify that, >> and it's so important to identify that, you know, because once you start you know, because once you start you know, because once you start realizing, yeah, you know what? My mom realizing, yeah, you know what? My mom realizing, yeah, you know what? My mom and my did tell me to do that porqu like and my did tell me to do that porqu like and my did tell me to do that porqu like for what? For why, right? You know, and

for what? For why, right? You know, and for what? For why, right? You know, and and I don't want to do that. I don't and I don't want to do that. I don't and I don't want to do that. I don't want to live their the life that they want to live their the life that they want to live their the life that they lived, you know, sufidas sad all the lived, you know, sufidas sad all the lived, you know, sufidas sad all the time. Like no, we we have so much light time. Like no, we we have so much light time. Like no, we we have so much light in us that we have to give to the world in us that we have to give to the world in us that we have to give to the world to be oppressed. And it holds men back to be oppressed. And it holds men back to be oppressed. And it holds men back at the same time, you know, like like we at the same time, you know, like like we at the same time, you know, like like we think like for like we think that or the think like for like we think that or the think like for like we think that or the patriarchy thinks that like men having patriarchy thinks that like men having patriarchy thinks that like men having control over somebody or having a slave control over somebody or having a slave control over somebody or having a slave is benefiting them. is benefiting them. is benefiting them. >> And what? If you see it like you're also >> And what? If you see it like you're also >> And what? If you see it like you're also dependent like they are also dependent dependent like they are also dependent dependent like they are also dependent on having somebody that can emotionally on having somebody that can emotionally on having somebody that can emotionally regulate them that can cook and clean regulate them that can cook and clean regulate them that can cook and clean for them that can do all these other for them that can do all these other for them that can do all these other things for them because they can't do things for them because they can't do things for them because they can't do it. it. it. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Like I see I see some of like my just >> Like I see I see some of like my just >> Like I see I see some of like my just family. family. family. >> I'll just say it that way. >> I'll just say it that way. >> I'll just say it that way. >> Like you see it that you're like you >> Like you see it that you're like you >> Like you see it that you're like you actually cannot function without actually cannot function without actually cannot function without yourself. And I'm all for relationships yourself. And I'm all for relationships yourself. And I'm all for relationships and I love relationships and I love men. and I love relationships and I love men. and I love relationships and I love men. You know, I have there's some very You know, I have there's some very You know, I have there's some very amazing men in in my life and I and I amazing men in in my life and I and I amazing men in in my life and I and I respect them and I love them respect them and I love them respect them and I love them >> and I don't ever want to bash them.

>> and I don't ever want to bash them. >> and I don't ever want to bash them. >> But like how these things play out and >> But like how these things play out and >> But like how these things play out and how you continue to see it and like it's how you continue to see it and like it's how you continue to see it and like it's like once you wake up you're like like once you wake up you're like like once you wake up you're like >> yeah I'm like no [laughter] absolutely >> yeah I'm like no [laughter] absolutely >> yeah I'm like no [laughter] absolutely not. not. not. >> You just people are like literally like >> You just people are like literally like >> You just people are like literally like >> they're awake but they're sleepwalking. >> they're awake but they're sleepwalking. >> they're awake but they're sleepwalking. Like Like Like >> how are you how are you how can you not >> how are you how are you how can you not >> how are you how are you how can you not see how these things play out? And and see how these things play out? And and see how these things play out? And and again, you can't because again, you can't because again, you can't because >> because you don't take the time to >> because you don't take the time to >> because you don't take the time to introspect. You don't take the time to introspect. You don't take the time to introspect. You don't take the time to like like like >> question everything to think through >> question everything to think through >> question everything to think through through why you do things to think through why you do things to think through why you do things to think through like, oh, if it if like through like, oh, if it if like through like, oh, if it if like >> that's not working out for me, why is >> that's not working out for me, why is >> that's not working out for me, why is that not working out for me? Why why is that not working out for me? Why why is that not working out for me? Why why is my body and your body always my body and your body always my body and your body always communicates to you, communicates to you, communicates to you, >> your body will reject it before you even >> your body will reject it before you even >> your body will reject it before you even mentally know, mentally know, mentally know, >> right? Like, why is my stomach hurting? >> right? Like, why is my stomach hurting? >> right? Like, why is my stomach hurting? Why is my ar my Why is my ar my Why is my ar my >> why am I feeling tense? like why am I >> why am I feeling tense? like why am I >> why am I feeling tense? like why am I feeling like feeling like feeling like >> but if you and and like how you were >> but if you and and like how you were >> but if you and and like how you were saying that we're not in the present saying that we're not in the present saying that we're not in the present right we we're either in the past or in right we we're either in the past or in right we we're either in the past or in the future because to be in the present the future because to be in the present the future because to be in the present you have to be embodied. you have to be embodied. you have to be embodied. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> And and to be embodied you have to feel >> And and to be embodied you have to feel >> And and to be embodied you have to feel >> all of the things that that you've been >> all of the things that that you've been >> all of the things that that you've been carrying your whole life.

carrying your whole life. carrying your whole life. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Or else you can't be embodied. You have >> Or else you can't be embodied. You have >> Or else you can't be embodied. You have to stay out of body. to stay out of body. to stay out of body. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Because it's all there like your body >> Because it's all there like your body >> Because it's all there like your body keep there's a book called your body keep there's a book called your body keep there's a book called your body keeps the score. keeps the score. keeps the score. >> Oh yeah. because it does and that's like >> Oh yeah. because it does and that's like >> Oh yeah. because it does and that's like everything. everything. everything. >> Most definitely. I feel like that's true >> Most definitely. I feel like that's true >> Most definitely. I feel like that's true too because of, you know, like the you too because of, you know, like the you too because of, you know, like the you were stating right now of were stating right now of were stating right now of how we keep, you know, that that bond how we keep, you know, that that bond how we keep, you know, that that bond still with with our traumas, you know, still with with our traumas, you know, still with with our traumas, you know, and you were saying right now like if I and you were saying right now like if I and you were saying right now like if I have to feel these feelings, it's a hard have to feel these feelings, it's a hard have to feel these feelings, it's a hard for people to feel the what they've gone for people to feel the what they've gone for people to feel the what they've gone through. Sometimes they're a mom, a a through. Sometimes they're a mom, a a through. Sometimes they're a mom, a a wife, a daughter, a this, a that, a up wife, a daughter, a this, a that, a up wife, a daughter, a this, a that, a up everything in the book. everything in the book. everything in the book. >> Yeah. And you do not even have the time >> Yeah. And you do not even have the time >> Yeah. And you do not even have the time to sit there with yourself and ask to sit there with yourself and ask to sit there with yourself and ask yourself those questions and be like, yourself those questions and be like, yourself those questions and be like, "What do I feel today? Why am I feeling "What do I feel today? Why am I feeling "What do I feel today? Why am I feeling like this? Is this something that I have like this? Is this something that I have like this? Is this something that I have to heal in myself, right? to heal in myself, right? to heal in myself, right? >> To be able to like move past this and >> To be able to like move past this and >> To be able to like move past this and and not have codependency, you know, not and not have codependency, you know, not and not have codependency, you know, not have this type of survival tactic or have this type of survival tactic or have this type of survival tactic or this or that, you know? And a lot of the this or that, you know? And a lot of the this or that, you know? And a lot of the times it is true because I've I've seen, times it is true because I've I've seen, times it is true because I've I've seen, you know, relationships and partners you know, relationships and partners you know, relationships and partners where the man don't doesn't even know where the man don't doesn't even know where the man don't doesn't even know where the spoons are in his kitchen cuz where the spoons are in his kitchen cuz where the spoons are in his kitchen cuz it's a woman's job. Like I don't I don't it's a woman's job. Like I don't I don't it's a woman's job. Like I don't I don't go into the kitchen. I don't know where go into the kitchen. I don't know where go into the kitchen. I don't know where anything is in this kitchen. And it's anything is in this kitchen. And it's anything is in this kitchen. And it's like, but you're so codependent to her like, but you're so codependent to her like, but you're so codependent to her that if she, god forbid, passes away, that if she, god forbid, passes away, that if she, god forbid, passes away, bro, how are you going to eat? How? You bro, how are you going to eat? How? You bro, how are you going to eat? How? You don't even know where your fridge is at.

don't even know where your fridge is at. don't even know where your fridge is at. Like, what's going on? Like, and it's Like, what's going on? Like, and it's Like, what's going on? Like, and it's like, we make it seem funny right now, like, we make it seem funny right now, like, we make it seem funny right now, but it's so detrimental and it's so but it's so detrimental and it's so but it's so detrimental and it's so serious that it's like that codependency serious that it's like that codependency serious that it's like that codependency that that like you said, you can't even that that like you said, you can't even that that like you said, you can't even survive like they're codependent to you survive like they're codependent to you survive like they're codependent to you just like they're co you're codependent just like they're co you're codependent just like they're co you're codependent to them. And that keeps that trauma bond to them. And that keeps that trauma bond to them. And that keeps that trauma bond just going in circles and that roller just going in circles and that roller just going in circles and that roller coaster ride that it's just it's so it's coaster ride that it's just it's so it's coaster ride that it's just it's so it's inevitable, you know, once you're in inevitable, you know, once you're in inevitable, you know, once you're in that that cycle, you know, and and it's that that cycle, you know, and and it's that that cycle, you know, and and it's so crucial to actually sit there and and so crucial to actually sit there and and so crucial to actually sit there and and ask yourself those questions. Sit in ask yourself those questions. Sit in ask yourself those questions. Sit in silence, feel these emotions, you know, silence, feel these emotions, you know, silence, feel these emotions, you know, actually go through your feelings that actually go through your feelings that actually go through your feelings that day and be like, man, I really this is day and be like, man, I really this is day and be like, man, I really this is how I feel. I feel this is how I feel how I feel. I feel this is how I feel how I feel. I feel this is how I feel today. Like I feel sad. Why do I feel today. Like I feel sad. Why do I feel today. Like I feel sad. Why do I feel sad because of this and this and that sad because of this and this and that sad because of this and this and that that happened? you know, and and you that happened? you know, and and you that happened? you know, and and you know, and you know, then then you say know, and you know, then then you say know, and you know, then then you say say you do get a chance to sit down or say you do get a chance to sit down or say you do get a chance to sit down or you talk to a friend, you're like, "Hey, you talk to a friend, you're like, "Hey, you talk to a friend, you're like, "Hey, this has been happening." Like I don't this has been happening." Like I don't this has been happening." Like I don't like like like >> what does somebody usually say like go >> what does somebody usually say like go >> what does somebody usually say like go see a doctor. see a doctor. see a doctor. >> Go see a therapist. >> Go see a therapist. >> Go see a therapist. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And what and what does and what does >> And what and what does and what does >> And what and what does and what does therapy or or like say your your back therapy or or like say your your back therapy or or like say your your back hurts or something hurts like whatever.

hurts or something hurts like whatever. hurts or something hurts like whatever. >> Take a drug for it. Take a pill. >> Take a drug for it. Take a pill. >> Take a drug for it. Take a pill. >> Pills. >> Pills. >> Pills. >> So you never actually get to the root of >> So you never actually get to the root of >> So you never actually get to the root of it. it. it. >> No. It's just always showing up in all >> No. It's just always showing up in all >> No. It's just always showing up in all of these like different types of of these like different types of of these like different types of unconscious ways unconscious ways unconscious ways >> because we never get to the root. So >> because we never get to the root. So >> because we never get to the root. So when I was getting my masters in social when I was getting my masters in social when I was getting my masters in social work, they actually tell you that you work, they actually tell you that you work, they actually tell you that you cannot take people back to their trauma. cannot take people back to their trauma. cannot take people back to their trauma. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> And that's why I could not be a >> And that's why I could not be a >> And that's why I could not be a clinician. There's a lot of reasons I clinician. There's a lot of reasons I clinician. There's a lot of reasons I could not I could not be a clinician could not I could not be a clinician could not I could not be a clinician because how how being a like because how how being a like because how how being a like psychotherapist like what they train you psychotherapist like what they train you psychotherapist like what they train you to do. to do. to do. >> Oh my gosh. Yeah. And I actually was I >> Oh my gosh. Yeah. And I actually was I >> Oh my gosh. Yeah. And I actually was I actually did learn hypnotherapy. actually did learn hypnotherapy. actually did learn hypnotherapy. >> Oh, awesome. Beautiful. >> Oh, awesome. Beautiful. >> Oh, awesome. Beautiful. >> Um, and so I I can still do hypno I >> Um, and so I I can still do hypno I >> Um, and so I I can still do hypno I don't do it as much anymore. Um, don't do it as much anymore. Um, don't do it as much anymore. Um, >> I like I said, I got to a point where I >> I like I said, I got to a point where I >> I like I said, I got to a point where I was like, I'm I'm good with hearing the was like, I'm I'm good with hearing the was like, I'm I'm good with hearing the stories like now like let's put those stories like now like let's put those stories like now like let's put those into action and let's put that into like into action and let's put that into like into action and let's put that into like spaces and activities and media and spaces and activities and media and spaces and activities and media and production that can heal things, right? production that can heal things, right? production that can heal things, right? Like we can actually have a different Like we can actually have a different Like we can actually have a different conversation. Um, but when I was when I conversation. Um, but when I was when I conversation. Um, but when I was when I was doing hypnotherapy, like that's was doing hypnotherapy, like that's was doing hypnotherapy, like that's that's where we went.

that's where we went. that's where we went. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> We would actually go back to the times >> We would actually go back to the times >> We would actually go back to the times to to when you first felt whatever it is to to when you first felt whatever it is to to when you first felt whatever it is that you're that you're feeling now. that you're that you're feeling now. that you're that you're feeling now. Like when when in your life did you Like when when in your life did you Like when when in your life did you first believe this belief pattern? first believe this belief pattern? first believe this belief pattern? >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> And how has this belief pattern showed >> And how has this belief pattern showed >> And how has this belief pattern showed up for you up for you up for you >> throughout your entire life? Yes. >> throughout your entire life? Yes. >> throughout your entire life? Yes. >> And now like this is still showing up >> And now like this is still showing up >> And now like this is still showing up right now. That's why it's still here. right now. That's why it's still here. right now. That's why it's still here. >> Wow. That's deep. >> Wow. That's deep. >> Wow. That's deep. >> That's very deep cuz it's like you said, >> That's very deep cuz it's like you said, >> That's very deep cuz it's like you said, it a lot of it stems from childhood. it a lot of it stems from childhood. it a lot of it stems from childhood. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> You know, most of our traumas and our >> You know, most of our traumas and our >> You know, most of our traumas and our things stem from childhood. The way you things stem from childhood. The way you things stem from childhood. The way you got brought up, the way that your got brought up, the way that your got brought up, the way that your parents talked to you, the way that your parents talked to you, the way that your parents talked to you, the way that your environment was around you, you know, environment was around you, you know, environment was around you, you know, and and most of the time, like you said, and and most of the time, like you said, and and most of the time, like you said, they'll give you uh pills, you know, and they'll give you uh pills, you know, and they'll give you uh pills, you know, and I feel like everything that they do is I feel like everything that they do is I feel like everything that they do is just a kurita. It's just a little, you just a kurita. It's just a little, you just a kurita. It's just a little, you know, just a band-aid. know, just a band-aid. know, just a band-aid. And then let's go. Like it's not that. And then let's go. Like it's not that. And then let's go. Like it's not that. It's not that. It's so much deeper. You It's not that. It's so much deeper. You It's not that. It's so much deeper. You got a deeper wound than just surface got a deeper wound than just surface got a deeper wound than just surface level, you know, and and that's why it level, you know, and and that's why it level, you know, and and that's why it is important to ask the questions.

is important to ask the questions. is important to ask the questions. That's why it is important to That's why it is important to That's why it is important to >> start from the beginning, you know, and >> start from the beginning, you know, and >> start from the beginning, you know, and and actually deep like dig deeper. and actually deep like dig deeper. and actually deep like dig deeper. Definitely dig deeper and sit through Definitely dig deeper and sit through Definitely dig deeper and sit through it. it. it. >> Sit through the pain >> Sit through the pain >> Sit through the pain >> cuz it's so much pain that we carry. >> cuz it's so much pain that we carry. >> cuz it's so much pain that we carry. >> We we do >> We we do >> We we do >> like and and it's hard to feel it. You >> like and and it's hard to feel it. You >> like and and it's hard to feel it. You don't want to you don't want to you don't want to you don't want to you don't want to you don't want to you don't want to have to feel what like don't want to have to feel what like don't want to have to feel what like what your little three-year-old self what your little three-year-old self what your little three-year-old self felt when mom was yelling at you. You felt when mom was yelling at you. You felt when mom was yelling at you. You don't want to feel that. don't want to feel that. don't want to feel that. >> No, you don't. >> No, you don't. >> No, you don't. >> As an adult, but but that's what you >> As an adult, but but that's what you >> As an adult, but but that's what you have to get to. Like that's what you have to get to. Like that's what you have to get to. Like that's what you have to feel to be able to to heal. Like have to feel to be able to to heal. Like have to feel to be able to to heal. Like if you're talking really about healing, if you're talking really about healing, if you're talking really about healing, like that's what you really have to like that's what you really have to like that's what you really have to experience experience experience >> most of it. >> most of it. >> most of it. >> But again, like we were talking about >> But again, like we were talking about >> But again, like we were talking about the systems and how systems are are set the systems and how systems are are set the systems and how systems are are set into place, they're not really set to into place, they're not really set to into place, they're not really set to make us to help us heal. No, make us to help us heal. No, make us to help us heal. No, >> the systems are they're not broken. The >> the systems are they're not broken. The >> the systems are they're not broken. The systems are are doing exactly what they systems are are doing exactly what they systems are are doing exactly what they were intended to do, which is to keep us were intended to do, which is to keep us were intended to do, which is to keep us >> unhealed. >> unhealed. >> unhealed. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> So that we can continue to consume. So >> So that we can continue to consume. So >> So that we can continue to consume. So we continue to drink alcohol and and we continue to drink alcohol and and we continue to drink alcohol and and party and watch all these types of party and watch all these types of party and watch all these types of movies that don't really do anything movies that don't really do anything movies that don't really do anything >> for us >> for us >> for us >> to benefit you. Like you're not your >> to benefit you. Like you're not your >> to benefit you. Like you're not your your brain isn't learning anything if your brain isn't learning anything if your brain isn't learning anything if you really like pay attention to like you really like pay attention to like you really like pay attention to like most media, most media, most media, >> scrolling and all that other stuff.

>> scrolling and all that other stuff. >> scrolling and all that other stuff. >> Yeah. I got to a point where I got so >> Yeah. I got to a point where I got so >> Yeah. I got to a point where I got so bored. And that's why we have that's why bored. And that's why we have that's why bored. And that's why we have that's why Creattopia also exists because we're Creattopia also exists because we're Creattopia also exists because we're like we're part media company, we're like we're part media company, we're like we're part media company, we're part think tank, part workforce part think tank, part workforce part think tank, part workforce development, and we're developing our development, and we're developing our development, and we're developing our own product to see what happens when own product to see what happens when own product to see what happens when people come together and create in the people come together and create in the people come together and create in the same space same space same space >> and how that heals our brain, how how >> and how that heals our brain, how how >> and how that heals our brain, how how being around other humans in person, being around other humans in person, being around other humans in person, what that does to your actual brain. what that does to your actual brain. what that does to your actual brain. >> Most definitely. And and >> Most definitely. And and >> Most definitely. And and >> to your neurology, it's so fun. It >> to your neurology, it's so fun. It >> to your neurology, it's so fun. It really like like that type of that that really like like that type of that that really like like that type of that that type of stuff I will I will like listen type of stuff I will I will like listen type of stuff I will I will like listen to or I will read like all day. Like to or I will read like all day. Like to or I will read like all day. Like that's my [laughter] entertainment. Like that's my [laughter] entertainment. Like that's my [laughter] entertainment. Like >> I love I love it. I feel like it's so >> I love I love it. I feel like it's so >> I love I love it. I feel like it's so it's so crucial. Like you said you said it's so crucial. Like you said you said it's so crucial. Like you said you said it and you reiterated all the time like it and you reiterated all the time like it and you reiterated all the time like >> a safety place, you know? It's such such >> a safety place, you know? It's such such >> a safety place, you know? It's such such a great thing to actually have a safety a great thing to actually have a safety a great thing to actually have a safety place to come to and actually have place to come to and actually have place to come to and actually have people that care and that that will hear people that care and that that will hear people that care and that that will hear you and that will, you know, not judge you and that will, you know, not judge you and that will, you know, not judge you for the things that you've gone as a you for the things that you've gone as a you for the things that you've gone as a human, as an individual, you know, human, as an individual, you know, human, as an individual, you know, because because because >> we go through things. We all anybody and >> we go through things. We all anybody and >> we go through things. We all anybody and any everybody can go through this. It any everybody can go through this. It any everybody can go through this. It doesn't matter your age, sex, religion, doesn't matter your age, sex, religion, doesn't matter your age, sex, religion, it does not matter. You know, we can go it does not matter. You know, we can go it does not matter. You know, we can go through things and and just to be able through things and and just to be able through things and and just to be able to have, you know, a friend, a place to to have, you know, a friend, a place to to have, you know, a friend, a place to conversate, you know, some people around conversate, you know, some people around conversate, you know, some people around you that actually have been through you that actually have been through you that actually have been through stuff, you know, have have gone through stuff, you know, have have gone through stuff, you know, have have gone through maybe similar stories as you have. And maybe similar stories as you have. And maybe similar stories as you have. And this is why it's so important. This is this is why it's so important. This is this is why it's so important. This is why we're having these conversations now why we're having these conversations now why we're having these conversations now because we want to connect to other because we want to connect to other because we want to connect to other people. We want to be able to like, people. We want to be able to like, people. We want to be able to like, look, you're human just like I am. You look, you're human just like I am. You look, you're human just like I am. You know, we we've gone through things just know, we we've gone through things just know, we we've gone through things just like I have. you know, we we understand,

like I have. you know, we we understand, like I have. you know, we we understand, you know, we hear you. We see you, you you know, we hear you. We see you, you you know, we hear you. We see you, you know, and that's so important. That's so know, and that's so important. That's so know, and that's so important. That's so so important. so important. so important. >> Yeah. And and and we believe like I just >> Yeah. And and and we believe like I just >> Yeah. And and and we believe like I just believe in the magic of what happens believe in the magic of what happens believe in the magic of what happens when people come together. when people come together. when people come together. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> And how and how it's like the the amount >> And how and how it's like the the amount >> And how and how it's like the the amount of quantum healing and quantum change of quantum healing and quantum change of quantum healing and quantum change that can happen when likeminded people that can happen when likeminded people that can happen when likeminded people have the have a similar vision, have have the have a similar vision, have have the have a similar vision, have similar goals. what good that can do in similar goals. what good that can do in similar goals. what good that can do in society and how and how that much how society and how and how that much how society and how and how that much how much that's needed right now. much that's needed right now. much that's needed right now. >> Yes, most definitely. >> Yes, most definitely. >> Yes, most definitely. >> Right. [laughter] >> Right. [laughter] >> Right. [laughter] >> Like like you look like no don't be >> Like like you look like no don't be >> Like like you look like no don't be sorry like it's because I mean it's you sorry like it's because I mean it's you sorry like it's because I mean it's you look at our world, right? Like look at look at our world, right? Like look at look at our world, right? Like look at the Epstein files. Look at stuff that's the Epstein files. Look at stuff that's the Epstein files. Look at stuff that's like that's continuously put in our like that's continuously put in our like that's continuously put in our media. I remember during CO too how like media. I remember during CO too how like media. I remember during CO too how like like even even so so this is like say like even even so so this is like say like even even so so this is like say you're say you're trying say like you you're say you're trying say like you you're say you're trying say like you were somebody that was trying to come were somebody that was trying to come were somebody that was trying to come out of an abusive relationship during co out of an abusive relationship during co out of an abusive relationship during co >> but then I don't remember I don't know >> but then I don't remember I don't know >> but then I don't remember I don't know if you remember how like there was like if you remember how like there was like if you remember how like there was like a year of co that it was like every week a year of co that it was like every week a year of co that it was like every week there was a there was a different like there was a there was a different like there was a there was a different like dramatic like societal there was like dramatic like societal there was like dramatic like societal there was like murder hornets at some point that were murder hornets at some point that were murder hornets at some point that were like just like out there killing people like just like out there killing people like just like out there killing people >> everybody was [laughter] everybody was >> everybody was [laughter] everybody was >> everybody was [laughter] everybody was getting done up during And I was like, getting done up during And I was like, getting done up during And I was like, what's going on?

what's going on? what's going on? >> Like >> Like >> Like >> abuse everywhere. >> abuse everywhere. >> abuse everywhere. >> So So like trying so trying to like >> So So like trying so trying to like >> So So like trying so trying to like >> So really trying to find that safe space >> So really trying to find that safe space >> So really trying to find that safe space and what that means and what that means and what that means >> and not being safe at home. Most of the >> and not being safe at home. Most of the >> and not being safe at home. Most of the time everybody was at home and it was time everybody was at home and it was time everybody was at home and it was like like like >> the relationships were like so toxic at >> the relationships were like so toxic at >> the relationships were like so toxic at the house. They couldn't even be in the the house. They couldn't even be in the the house. They couldn't even be in the same house. same house. same house. >> Exactly. >> Exactly. >> Exactly. >> And that was so eyeopening, you know, to >> And that was so eyeopening, you know, to >> And that was so eyeopening, you know, to to to to to to to >> to see these relationships, you know, >> to see these relationships, you know, >> to see these relationships, you know, they've been together for years and now they've been together for years and now they've been together for years and now they're finally together 24/7 and can't they're finally together 24/7 and can't they're finally together 24/7 and can't stand each other. right? stand each other. right? stand each other. right? >> You know, and and it's it's eye opening, >> You know, and and it's it's eye opening, >> You know, and and it's it's eye opening, like you said, during co it was really like you said, during co it was really like you said, during co it was really eye opening to to see all of that really eye opening to to see all of that really eye opening to to see all of that really just boil down and and the stories that just boil down and and the stories that just boil down and and the stories that came out of it and and you know, the the came out of it and and you know, the the came out of it and and you know, the the the months and months and months of like the months and months and months of like the months and months and months of like us being we we're human. We're not us being we we're human. We're not us being we we're human. We're not supposed to be trapped inside, you know, supposed to be trapped inside, you know, supposed to be trapped inside, you know, for so many days and so many months and for so many days and so many months and for so many days and so many months and so many, you know, we're we're we're so many, you know, we're we're we're so many, you know, we're we're we're meant to be around people. We love to meant to be around people. We love to meant to be around people. We love to socialize and be around people. And, you socialize and be around people. And, you socialize and be around people. And, you know, that's what we are. we're we're know, that's what we are. we're we're know, that's what we are. we're we're we're common people, you know, and we're common people, you know, and we're common people, you know, and >> to not have that and to go to a complete >> to not have that and to go to a complete >> to not have that and to go to a complete other side of that was I think a lot of other side of that was I think a lot of other side of that was I think a lot of a lot of ugliness came out of people a lot of ugliness came out of people a lot of ugliness came out of people during that time, you know, and it was during that time, you know, and it was during that time, you know, and it was it was seen, you know, and and this is it was seen, you know, and and this is it was seen, you know, and and this is why we we have to have these why we we have to have these why we we have to have these conversations cuz it could happen to conversations cuz it could happen to conversations cuz it could happen to anybody. It really does happen, you anybody. It really does happen, you anybody. It really does happen, you know, and and every household and any in know, and and every household and any in know, and and every household and any in any situation and home as well. Um so I any situation and home as well. Um so I any situation and home as well. Um so I I did want to speak about you know just I did want to speak about you know just I did want to speak about you know just the trauma bonding um you know what what the trauma bonding um you know what what the trauma bonding um you know what what it affects um having the mix abuse it affects um having the mix abuse it affects um having the mix abuse creates emotional dependency like we creates emotional dependency like we creates emotional dependency like we were saying you know like it creates were saying you know like it creates were saying you know like it creates that codependency that trauma bond that

that codependency that trauma bond that that codependency that trauma bond that that keeps on going in and cycles and that keeps on going in and cycles and that keeps on going in and cycles and cycles um mental health effects you know cycles um mental health effects you know cycles um mental health effects you know you could get PTSD anxiety depression you could get PTSD anxiety depression you could get PTSD anxiety depression hyper vid hypervigilance panic attacks hyper vid hypervigilance panic attacks hyper vid hypervigilance panic attacks you know all of these are you know you know all of these are you know you know all of these are you know >> you know from experience >> you know from experience >> you know from experience >> after effects I experienced all these >> after effects I experienced all these >> after effects I experienced all these things, the PTSD, the anxiety, the hyper things, the PTSD, the anxiety, the hyper things, the PTSD, the anxiety, the hyper vilig vigilance, viligence, the hyper vilig vigilance, viligence, the hyper vilig vigilance, viligence, the hyper vigilance [laughter] vigilance [laughter] vigilance [laughter] and [clears throat] just I I remember and [clears throat] just I I remember and [clears throat] just I I remember like going through these things and and like going through these things and and like going through these things and and what it took what it took what it took >> for me to create my own like safe haven. >> for me to create my own like safe haven. >> for me to create my own like safe haven. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> And just completely like not be in a >> And just completely like not be in a >> And just completely like not be in a relationship. relationship. relationship. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Like >> Like >> Like >> cut everybody off. [laughter] >> cut everybody off. [laughter] >> cut everybody off. [laughter] >> And then I would try to be in a >> And then I would try to be in a >> And then I would try to be in a relationship and then something else relationship and then something else relationship and then something else popped up. Yeah. And then I was like and popped up. Yeah. And then I was like and popped up. Yeah. And then I was like and and like I thought I thought I'd already and like I thought I thought I'd already and like I thought I thought I'd already learned this. learned this. learned this. >> Why is it coming back up? Why? Oh god. >> Why is it coming back up? Why? Oh god. >> Why is it coming back up? Why? Oh god. >> But I [laughter] mean that's what they >> But I [laughter] mean that's what they >> But I [laughter] mean that's what they say when you're breaking patterns, say when you're breaking patterns, say when you're breaking patterns, >> right? Like and and like I think just >> right? Like and and like I think just >> right? Like and and like I think just always to be to be compassionate with always to be to be compassionate with always to be to be compassionate with yourself. yourself. yourself. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> When you're breaking the patterns.

>> When you're breaking the patterns. >> When you're breaking the patterns. >> Most definitely. >> Most definitely. >> Most definitely. >> And when you're going through these >> And when you're going through these >> And when you're going through these things, right? Because like I studied things, right? Because like I studied things, right? Because like I studied psychology for a really long time and I psychology for a really long time and I psychology for a really long time and I still fell into these relationships and still fell into these relationships and still fell into these relationships and like and and I and I would learn about like and and I and I would learn about like and and I and I would learn about the red flags and I would learn about the red flags and I would learn about the red flags and I would learn about all these things but I still fell into all these things but I still fell into all these things but I still fell into the relationship even even like right the relationship even even like right the relationship even even like right out of co I like out of co I like out of co I like >> I thought I was in love again and he >> I thought I was in love again and he >> I thought I was in love again and he ended up like almost hitting me in front ended up like almost hitting me in front ended up like almost hitting me in front of my daughter of my daughter of my daughter >> like these things that like [laughter] >> like these things that like [laughter] >> like these things that like [laughter] >> No, absolutely not. No, like you almost >> No, absolutely not. No, like you almost >> No, absolutely not. No, like you almost feel like, hey, I should have known feel like, hey, I should have known feel like, hey, I should have known better. But at the same time, better. But at the same time, better. But at the same time, >> you might not know cuz everybody comes >> you might not know cuz everybody comes >> you might not know cuz everybody comes with different tactics. Everybody comes with different tactics. Everybody comes with different tactics. Everybody comes in different forms and you know, yeah, in different forms and you know, yeah, in different forms and you know, yeah, they're sneaky. You don't know until they're sneaky. You don't know until they're sneaky. You don't know until you've actually are in it, you know, you've actually are in it, you know, you've actually are in it, you know, >> and I don't think they know. I think I >> and I don't think they know. I think I >> and I don't think they know. I think I think there's a there's a lot of think there's a there's a lot of think there's a there's a lot of subconscious stuff that does play out in subconscious stuff that does play out in subconscious stuff that does play out in intimate relationships intimate relationships intimate relationships that people are really not aware of that that people are really not aware of that that people are really not aware of that people like because they haven't people like because they haven't people like because they haven't processed it, right? Because you haven't processed it, right? Because you haven't processed it, right? Because you haven't gone to the root cause of it. It's still gone to the root cause of it. It's still gone to the root cause of it. It's still there.

there. there. >> It is. >> It is. >> It is. >> And and I think a lot of people really >> And and I think a lot of people really >> And and I think a lot of people really don't know don't know don't know >> like that they're doing these things. >> like that they're doing these things. >> like that they're doing these things. Like it's almost like they're possessed. Like it's almost like they're possessed. Like it's almost like they're possessed. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Or like it's like this other personality >> Or like it's like this other personality >> Or like it's like this other personality that comes out or demon that comes out. that comes out or demon that comes out. that comes out or demon that comes out. Honestly. Honestly. Honestly. >> Literally. >> Literally. >> Literally. >> Honestly. Yeah. I mean, and and Yeah. >> Honestly. Yeah. I mean, and and Yeah. >> Honestly. Yeah. I mean, and and Yeah. >> Yes. We can talk about that stuff for a >> Yes. We can talk about that stuff for a >> Yes. We can talk about that stuff for a while. [laughter] while. [laughter] while. [laughter] >> We got like 20 minutes. >> We got like 20 minutes. >> We got like 20 minutes. >> Oh, okay. Let's go. >> Oh, okay. Let's go. >> Oh, okay. Let's go. Perfect. Um the impacts on children, you Perfect. Um the impacts on children, you Perfect. Um the impacts on children, you know, behavior issues, fear responses, know, behavior issues, fear responses, know, behavior issues, fear responses, repeating patterns in life. You know, we repeating patterns in life. You know, we repeating patterns in life. You know, we talked about like how it affects our talked about like how it affects our talked about like how it affects our children. Not only does it affect us children. Not only does it affect us children. Not only does it affect us that we go through these relationships, that we go through these relationships, that we go through these relationships, but our children are seeing this. You but our children are seeing this. You but our children are seeing this. You know, like your daughter saw that. my know, like your daughter saw that. my know, like your daughter saw that. my son is growing up, you know, to be a son is growing up, you know, to be a son is growing up, you know, to be a young man and I don't want him to be, young man and I don't want him to be, young man and I don't want him to be, you know, doing these type of patterns you know, doing these type of patterns you know, doing these type of patterns or doing these type of things that can or doing these type of things that can or doing these type of things that can later affect his relationships and his later affect his relationships and his later affect his relationships and his wife and his, you know, future spouses wife and his, you know, future spouses wife and his, you know, future spouses and stuff like that, you know. And I and stuff like that, you know. And I and stuff like that, you know. And I feel like this is why we have to be the, feel like this is why we have to be the, feel like this is why we have to be the, you know, the the the you know, the the the you know, the the the black sheep at the end of the day, you black sheep at the end of the day, you black sheep at the end of the day, you know, to change it, you know, to be able know, to change it, you know, to be able know, to change it, you know, to be able to have that home that's safe, you know?

to have that home that's safe, you know? to have that home that's safe, you know? >> Yeah. And and like it's it's funny that >> Yeah. And and like it's it's funny that >> Yeah. And and like it's it's funny that we're considered the black sheep, right? we're considered the black sheep, right? we're considered the black sheep, right? when when you're actually a role model. when when you're actually a role model. when when you're actually a role model. Like you're actually a positive Like you're actually a positive Like you're actually a positive [clears throat] role model. [clears throat] role model. [clears throat] role model. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> For for what safety needs to look like. >> For for what safety needs to look like. >> For for what safety needs to look like. >> But you're the black sheep >> But you're the black sheep >> But you're the black sheep >> because we're doing it different than >> because we're doing it different than >> because we're doing it different than what our [laughter] family has done. I'm what our [laughter] family has done. I'm what our [laughter] family has done. I'm like, how? What? Why? >> It is so true. It is very true. Um >> It is so true. It is very true. Um long-term healing, therapy, support long-term healing, therapy, support long-term healing, therapy, support groups, traumainformed uh care and groups, traumainformed uh care and groups, traumainformed uh care and community support. I do believe that if community support. I do believe that if community support. I do believe that if you've gone through something like this, you've gone through something like this, you've gone through something like this, you have to reach out. You have to have you have to reach out. You have to have you have to reach out. You have to have community. You have to have, even if you community. You have to have, even if you community. You have to have, even if you don't have, you know, support from your don't have, you know, support from your don't have, you know, support from your family, find someone, you know, find the family, find someone, you know, find the family, find someone, you know, find the community. Find the resources. Ask, ask, community. Find the resources. Ask, ask, community. Find the resources. Ask, ask, you know, by just asking, you know, you know, by just asking, you know, you know, by just asking, you know, going to the right place. Call 211. going to the right place. Call 211. going to the right place. Call 211. There's information on there for you. There's information on there for you. There's information on there for you. Call 911 if you really have to report Call 911 if you really have to report Call 911 if you really have to report something. um call these, you know, uh something. um call these, you know, uh something. um call these, you know, uh abuse abusive and violence um abuse abusive and violence um abuse abusive and violence um communities workers that are that are communities workers that are that are communities workers that are that are there for you to actually, you know, to there for you to actually, you know, to there for you to actually, you know, to help and get the resources and help and get the resources and help and get the resources and information that you need to actually be information that you need to actually be information that you need to actually be able to transition, you know, because able to transition, you know, because able to transition, you know, because it's it's a transition. It's a hard it's it's a transition. It's a hard it's it's a transition. It's a hard transition. People have to go through it transition. People have to go through it transition. People have to go through it and unfortunately it's going to hurt.

and unfortunately it's going to hurt. and unfortunately it's going to hurt. >> It's going to hurt, >> It's going to hurt, >> It's going to hurt, >> you know. You know, and I've mentioned >> you know. You know, and I've mentioned >> you know. You know, and I've mentioned that I I'm I'm against I'm against that I I'm I'm against I'm against that I I'm I'm against I'm against pharmaceuticals is what I'm against, but pharmaceuticals is what I'm against, but pharmaceuticals is what I'm against, but I am all for talk therapy. Like I do I am all for talk therapy. Like I do I am all for talk therapy. Like I do think talk therapy is is very valuable think talk therapy is is very valuable think talk therapy is is very valuable and very useful for a lot of different and very useful for a lot of different and very useful for a lot of different things for people to just process things for people to just process things for people to just process through these things. through these things. through these things. >> Um and there's a lot of different new >> Um and there's a lot of different new >> Um and there's a lot of different new modalities that it's kind of doing the modalities that it's kind of doing the modalities that it's kind of doing the the same thing that hypnotherapy does the same thing that hypnotherapy does the same thing that hypnotherapy does because it does take you to like the because it does take you to like the because it does take you to like the root of things. Okay. root of things. Okay. root of things. Okay. >> Um but >> Um but >> Um but >> yeah, I just wanted to make that >> yeah, I just wanted to make that >> yeah, I just wanted to make that disclaimer that talk therapy I like disclaimer that talk therapy I like disclaimer that talk therapy I like >> it's definitely >> it's definitely >> it's definitely >> it's definitely useful >> it's definitely useful >> it's definitely useful >> needed. Most definitely needed. >> needed. Most definitely needed. >> needed. Most definitely needed. >> Um just red flags, you know. Um, we have >> Um just red flags, you know. Um, we have >> Um just red flags, you know. Um, we have a lot of red flags going through these a lot of red flags going through these a lot of red flags going through these relationships and sometimes we might not relationships and sometimes we might not relationships and sometimes we might not notice them, you know, until either notice them, you know, until either notice them, you know, until either they've added up or you've actually been they've added up or you've actually been they've added up or you've actually been on the other side of it, you know, and on the other side of it, you know, and on the other side of it, you know, and um, extreme jealousy and possessiveness, um, extreme jealousy and possessiveness, um, extreme jealousy and possessiveness, controlling where you go, who you see, controlling where you go, who you see, controlling where you go, who you see, what you wear. Um, checking your phone, what you wear. Um, checking your phone, what you wear. Um, checking your phone, demanding passwords, blaming you for demanding passwords, blaming you for demanding passwords, blaming you for their behavior. Um, I've noticed that a their behavior. Um, I've noticed that a their behavior. Um, I've noticed that a lot of like, you know, the people that lot of like, you know, the people that lot of like, you know, the people that actually are abusers, they blame you.

actually are abusers, they blame you. actually are abusers, they blame you. They actually will blame you and be They actually will blame you and be They actually will blame you and be like, um, it's your fault that I hit like, um, it's your fault that I hit like, um, it's your fault that I hit you. It's your fault that I did this or you. It's your fault that I did this or you. It's your fault that I did this or is that, you know, this and that and the is that, you know, this and that and the is that, you know, this and that and the third. And it's like, third. And it's like, third. And it's like, >> yeah. And that's part of the >> yeah. And that's part of the >> yeah. And that's part of the gaslighting. gaslighting. gaslighting. >> It is part of the gaslighting. It's part >> It is part of the gaslighting. It's part >> It is part of the gaslighting. It's part of the manipulation tactics and the of the manipulation tactics and the of the manipulation tactics and the lying and the the breadcrumbming, you lying and the the breadcrumbming, you lying and the the breadcrumbming, you know, it's all of these things together. know, it's all of these things together. know, it's all of these things together. And that's why it was so crucial for us And that's why it was so crucial for us And that's why it was so crucial for us to even, you know, mention those things, to even, you know, mention those things, to even, you know, mention those things, you know, like narcissistic tendencies, you know, like narcissistic tendencies, you know, like narcissistic tendencies, you know, like big egos, enlarged egos, you know, like big egos, enlarged egos, you know, like big egos, enlarged egos, you know, like these are the things that you know, like these are the things that you know, like these are the things that a lot of the abusers use to actually a lot of the abusers use to actually a lot of the abusers use to actually keep their victims in the same cycles, keep their victims in the same cycles, keep their victims in the same cycles, you know, and I think it's something you know, and I think it's something you know, and I think it's something very very important that we we say um very very important that we we say um very very important that we we say um threaten to harm you, your children, threaten to harm you, your children, threaten to harm you, your children, your pets, or themselves. You know, a your pets, or themselves. You know, a your pets, or themselves. You know, a lot of people do go suicidal, you know, lot of people do go suicidal, you know, lot of people do go suicidal, you know, when they're like in in when they're like in in when they're like in in >> a traumatic um abusive relationship. >> a traumatic um abusive relationship. >> a traumatic um abusive relationship. They'll either, you know, threaten you They'll either, you know, threaten you They'll either, you know, threaten you or they'll threaten to kill themselves, or they'll threaten to kill themselves, or they'll threaten to kill themselves, you know, and and you know, have these you know, and and you know, have these you know, and and you know, have these traumatic conversations with you and traumatic conversations with you and traumatic conversations with you and it's just more adding more fuel to the it's just more adding more fuel to the it's just more adding more fuel to the fire really. Um isolation um from fire really. Um isolation um from fire really. Um isolation um from support groups. Um history of violence, support groups. Um history of violence, support groups. Um history of violence, that's another thing that is very uh that's another thing that is very uh that's another thing that is very uh crucial. Sometimes we will not see it or crucial. Sometimes we will not see it or crucial. Sometimes we will not see it or we don't know about it because most of we don't know about it because most of we don't know about it because most of the time they hide their their their the time they hide their their their the time they hide their their their background you know they won't tell you background you know they won't tell you background you know they won't tell you they you know family members know about they you know family members know about they you know family members know about it but they won't even ex you know tell it but they won't even ex you know tell it but they won't even ex you know tell you about some certain type of things.

you about some certain type of things. you about some certain type of things. So I think it's very crucial to actually So I think it's very crucial to actually So I think it's very crucial to actually you know dig a little dirt over under you know dig a little dirt over under you know dig a little dirt over under your person you know be like hey what your person you know be like hey what your person you know be like hey what have what have how has your have what have how has your have what have how has your relationships been in the past what relationships been in the past what relationships been in the past what happened you know happened you know happened you know >> it takes time >> it takes time >> it takes time >> and and take your time with it. Yes, >> and and take your time with it. Yes, >> and and take your time with it. Yes, most definitely. I feel like a lot of most definitely. I feel like a lot of most definitely. I feel like a lot of the times like these relationships are the times like these relationships are the times like these relationships are rushed. rushed. rushed. >> Oh yeah. >> Oh yeah. >> Oh yeah. >> You know, they they rush rush rush rush >> You know, they they rush rush rush rush >> You know, they they rush rush rush rush rush. rush. rush. >> It's like scammers. You know how like >> It's like scammers. You know how like >> It's like scammers. You know how like scammers like make everything go really scammers like make everything go really scammers like make everything go really fast and then before you know it they fast and then before you know it they fast and then before you know it they took $5,000? took $5,000? took $5,000? >> I'm like what what happened? [laughter] >> I'm like what what happened? [laughter] >> I'm like what what happened? [laughter] >> But that's what happened. Like it's all >> But that's what happened. Like it's all >> But that's what happened. Like it's all about like like let's get married, let's about like like let's get married, let's about like like let's get married, let's get pregnant, let's get like let's move get pregnant, let's get like let's move get pregnant, let's get like let's move fast. And then and then once you're fast. And then and then once you're fast. And then and then once you're locked in locked in locked in >> like you can't go anywhere. >> like you can't go anywhere. >> like you can't go anywhere. >> You're literally locked in. Locked in. >> You're literally locked in. Locked in. >> You're literally locked in. Locked in. Yep. Yep. Yep. um documentaries and a lot of the medias um documentaries and a lot of the medias um documentaries and a lot of the medias like we were saying, you know, we've like we were saying, you know, we've like we were saying, you know, we've seen a lot of different shows, you know, seen a lot of different shows, you know, seen a lot of different shows, you know, and and there's a lot of documentaries and and there's a lot of documentaries and and there's a lot of documentaries out there that have, you know, gone gone out there that have, you know, gone gone out there that have, you know, gone gone done the research and actually put done the research and actually put done the research and actually put documentaries out. Um Private Violence documentaries out. Um Private Violence documentaries out. Um Private Violence is one, Power and Control, um Domestic is one, Power and Control, um Domestic is one, Power and Control, um Domestic Violence is America is another one, The Violence is America is another one, The Violence is America is another one, The Invisible War, um Abducted in Plain Invisible War, um Abducted in Plain Invisible War, um Abducted in Plain Sight, The Maid, The Keepers. You know, Sight, The Maid, The Keepers. You know, Sight, The Maid, The Keepers. You know, there's so many different kinds of there's so many different kinds of there's so many different kinds of abuse.

abuse. abuse. >> So, it's that's why it's so important >> So, it's that's why it's so important >> So, it's that's why it's so important like if we are going to watch something, like if we are going to watch something, like if we are going to watch something, watch something that's actually going to watch something that's actually going to watch something that's actually going to make you think about, you know, what make you think about, you know, what make you think about, you know, what just happened. What did you just see? just happened. What did you just see? just happened. What did you just see? How did she how could you prevent that? How did she how could you prevent that? How did she how could you prevent that? How can you learn from this? You know, How can you learn from this? You know, How can you learn from this? You know, and and have that, you know, have that and and have that, you know, have that and and have that, you know, have that reference and examples because sometimes reference and examples because sometimes reference and examples because sometimes we don't know, you know, we don't have we don't know, you know, we don't have we don't know, you know, we don't have the example. We haven't seen that. We the example. We haven't seen that. We the example. We haven't seen that. We haven't been through it, experienced it. haven't been through it, experienced it. haven't been through it, experienced it. you know, you've probably experienced you know, you've probably experienced you know, you've probably experienced different kinds of abuse and now you different kinds of abuse and now you different kinds of abuse and now you have another type of abuser. You know, have another type of abuser. You know, have another type of abuser. You know, like you were saying, different like you were saying, different like you were saying, different relationships come with different people relationships come with different people relationships come with different people and how people really are, you know, and and how people really are, you know, and and how people really are, you know, and and it's really important just to stay and it's really important just to stay and it's really important just to stay informed, you know. I feel like most of informed, you know. I feel like most of informed, you know. I feel like most of this is to inform and, you know, to this is to inform and, you know, to this is to inform and, you know, to inspire people to actually do something inspire people to actually do something inspire people to actually do something about it, you know, and actually like be about it, you know, and actually like be about it, you know, and actually like be able to like able to like able to like >> help help yourself get out of >> help help yourself get out of >> help help yourself get out of situations, help others get out of situations, help others get out of situations, help others get out of situations, you know, and and identify. situations, you know, and and identify. situations, you know, and and identify. I think that's what's so important about I think that's what's so important about I think that's what's so important about this conversation. this conversation. this conversation. >> Yeah. You know, >> Yeah. You know, >> Yeah. You know, >> and I and I think, you know, with like I >> and I and I think, you know, with like I >> and I and I think, you know, with like I think there's just a point to to be made think there's just a point to to be made think there's just a point to to be made about how we're all just still seeking about how we're all just still seeking about how we're all just still seeking love, love, love, >> you know, >> you know, >> you know, >> like like at the end of the day, like >> like like at the end of the day, like >> like like at the end of the day, like that is why we get into relationships.

that is why we get into relationships. that is why we get into relationships. That is like we I do believe that in our That is like we I do believe that in our That is like we I do believe that in our core we we seek love. core we we seek love. core we we seek love. >> Yes. and and society and how things have >> Yes. and and society and how things have >> Yes. and and society and how things have played out just like have totally played out just like have totally played out just like have totally butchered what love means and what it butchered what love means and what it butchered what love means and what it looks like and and so we fall into those looks like and and so we fall into those looks like and and so we fall into those cycles and we fall into those patterns cycles and we fall into those patterns cycles and we fall into those patterns mostly. mostly. mostly. >> Um >> Um >> Um >> and I think just to continue to seek it, >> and I think just to continue to seek it, >> and I think just to continue to seek it, you know, to to never give up and to you know, to to never give up and to you know, to to never give up and to never like and to not think that it never like and to not think that it never like and to not think that it doesn't exist. doesn't exist. doesn't exist. >> Yes. U because I think that that I mean >> Yes. U because I think that that I mean >> Yes. U because I think that that I mean if you look at mainstream like that's if you look at mainstream like that's if you look at mainstream like that's what they're kind of trying to tell you what they're kind of trying to tell you what they're kind of trying to tell you that love isn't real that love doesn't that love isn't real that love doesn't that love isn't real that love doesn't exist and and that you shouldn't seek it exist and and that you shouldn't seek it exist and and that you shouldn't seek it and you should be hurt and you should and you should be hurt and you should and you should be hurt and you should and you shouldn't heal. and you shouldn't heal. and you shouldn't heal. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Because because what happens when people >> Because because what happens when people >> Because because what happens when people do heal and when people actually find do heal and when people actually find do heal and when people actually find love and like you're able to to find love and like you're able to to find love and like you're able to to find that love inside of you and then share that love inside of you and then share that love inside of you and then share it. it. it. >> Oh wow. >> Oh wow. >> Oh wow. >> Like the change that can happen in in >> Like the change that can happen in in >> Like the change that can happen in in our society and in our communities and our society and in our communities and our society and in our communities and >> we need to spread more love, you know. >> we need to spread more love, you know. >> we need to spread more love, you know. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, >> it's all about the love. >> it's all about the love. >> it's all about the love. >> It is. And I've I've heard, you know, >> It is. And I've I've heard, you know, >> It is. And I've I've heard, you know, hurt people hurt people, right?

hurt people hurt people, right? hurt people hurt people, right? >> You know, and I feel like until you stop >> You know, and I feel like until you stop >> You know, and I feel like until you stop hurting, you know, and you start pouring hurting, you know, and you start pouring hurting, you know, and you start pouring that love into yourself, like you said, that love into yourself, like you said, that love into yourself, like you said, you got to pour that love into you you got to pour that love into you you got to pour that love into you >> so your love can overflow and, you know, >> so your love can overflow and, you know, >> so your love can overflow and, you know, flow into other cups, you know. I feel flow into other cups, you know. I feel flow into other cups, you know. I feel like that's how it should be, you know, like that's how it should be, you know, like that's how it should be, you know, and and it's and it's it's very very and and it's and it's it's very very and and it's and it's it's very very important to actually, you know, love on important to actually, you know, love on important to actually, you know, love on yourself before you love others. yourself before you love others. yourself before you love others. >> And don't give up. >> And don't give up. >> And don't give up. >> And don't give up on love. Don't give a >> And don't give up on love. Don't give a >> And don't give up on love. Don't give a [ __ ] because you're like you're going up [ __ ] because you're like you're going up [ __ ] because you're like you're going up against brain damage. You're going up against brain damage. You're going up against brain damage. You're going up against societal systems and structures. against societal systems and structures. against societal systems and structures. You're going up against your family, You're going up against your family, You're going up against your family, religion, the law. religion, the law. religion, the law. >> Everyone [laughter] >> Everyone [laughter] >> Everyone [laughter] everyone is against you at this point. everyone is against you at this point. everyone is against you at this point. >> You're going up against against like the >> You're going up against against like the >> You're going up against against like the entire like just societal structure and entire like just societal structure and entire like just societal structure and how things were set in place how things were set in place how things were set in place >> for you to not believe that love exists >> for you to not believe that love exists >> for you to not believe that love exists and for and for love to not flourish in and for and for love to not flourish in and for and for love to not flourish in our world. our world. our world. >> Yes. Absolutely. because it doesn't >> Yes. Absolutely. because it doesn't >> Yes. Absolutely. because it doesn't benefit the people in charge. benefit the people in charge. benefit the people in charge. >> Yeah, it does. No, it definitely. No, we >> Yeah, it does. No, it definitely. No, we >> Yeah, it does. No, it definitely. No, we had to [laughter] hear that. Definitely had to [laughter] hear that. Definitely had to [laughter] hear that. Definitely have to hear that. have to hear that. have to hear that. >> Um I do uh just, you know, I like we >> Um I do uh just, you know, I like we >> Um I do uh just, you know, I like we said earlier um if you ever do um are in said earlier um if you ever do um are in said earlier um if you ever do um are in immediate danger, you have threats um immediate danger, you have threats um immediate danger, you have threats um with weapons, strangulation, anything, with weapons, strangulation, anything, with weapons, strangulation, anything, please call 911. It's always important please call 911. It's always important please call 911. It's always important to document um document photos, to document um document photos, to document um document photos, screenshots, medical records, um screenshots, medical records, um screenshots, medical records, um incidents, all that is very important.

incidents, all that is very important. incidents, all that is very important. you know, if you do go through something you know, if you do go through something you know, if you do go through something like this in Texas, we do have different like this in Texas, we do have different like this in Texas, we do have different challenges. Um, you know, confusion challenges. Um, you know, confusion challenges. Um, you know, confusion about jurisdiction, where in the city about jurisdiction, where in the city about jurisdiction, where in the city versus the county that you could do versus the county that you could do versus the county that you could do reporting, uh, zoning, residency, of reporting, uh, zoning, residency, of reporting, uh, zoning, residency, of course, um, immigration fears. We have course, um, immigration fears. We have course, um, immigration fears. We have our culture, you know, we're Mexican our culture, you know, we're Mexican our culture, you know, we're Mexican Americans, you know, some not all of our Americans, you know, some not all of our Americans, you know, some not all of our family members are documented, you know, family members are documented, you know, family members are documented, you know, and that's one thing that prevents a lot and that's one thing that prevents a lot and that's one thing that prevents a lot of people from actually reporting the of people from actually reporting the of people from actually reporting the the abuse is the abuse is the abuse is >> reporting it and then, oh my gosh, >> reporting it and then, oh my gosh, >> reporting it and then, oh my gosh, they're going to come and get me and they're going to come and get me and they're going to come and get me and immigration is going to come and get my immigration is going to come and get my immigration is going to come and get my family and tear the family apart. And, family and tear the family apart. And, family and tear the family apart. And, you know, it it creates so much more of, you know, it it creates so much more of, you know, it it creates so much more of, you know, that that problem behind one you know, that that problem behind one you know, that that problem behind one problem, you know, can create other problem, you know, can create other problem, you know, can create other problems. So, immigration status is problems. So, immigration status is problems. So, immigration status is something that affects us all. um something that affects us all. um something that affects us all. um language barriers, um econ economical language barriers, um econ economical language barriers, um econ economical dependency. Like we said, if it's a one dependency. Like we said, if it's a one dependency. Like we said, if it's a one out one household income coming in and out one household income coming in and out one household income coming in and he's your abuser, you don't have no he's your abuser, you don't have no he's your abuser, you don't have no money to you. How do you leave someone money to you. How do you leave someone money to you. How do you leave someone without money, without going into a without money, without going into a without money, without going into a hotel or to a friends or a family ride hotel or to a friends or a family ride hotel or to a friends or a family ride or you know finding you know that that or you know finding you know that that or you know finding you know that that escape you know from certain situations escape you know from certain situations escape you know from certain situations which which I think is very crucial to which which I think is very crucial to which which I think is very crucial to actually implement and have um actually implement and have um actually implement and have um protection orders in Texas um they're protection orders in Texas um they're protection orders in Texas um they're available through courts um counties available through courts um counties available through courts um counties advocating um to keep your files um advocating um to keep your files um advocating um to keep your files um emergency protective orders after the emergency protective orders after the emergency protective orders after the arrests.

arrests. arrests. uh leasing termination rights, which is, uh leasing termination rights, which is, uh leasing termination rights, which is, you know, if you're actually leasing, you know, if you're actually leasing, you know, if you're actually leasing, you're in an apartment, you could you're in an apartment, you could you're in an apartment, you could actually terminate your lease and it actually terminate your lease and it actually terminate your lease and it will not go against you because you are will not go against you because you are will not go against you because you are a victim of domestic abuse. So, that's a victim of domestic abuse. So, that's a victim of domestic abuse. So, that's something that, you know, it's crucial something that, you know, it's crucial something that, you know, it's crucial to actually say because sometimes to actually say because sometimes to actually say because sometimes they'll be like, "Oh, no. I just signed they'll be like, "Oh, no. I just signed they'll be like, "Oh, no. I just signed a contract in this apartment and I can't a contract in this apartment and I can't a contract in this apartment and I can't leave." And now I have my aggressor leave." And now I have my aggressor leave." And now I have my aggressor coming to my apartment every day cuz coming to my apartment every day cuz coming to my apartment every day cuz they know where I live or they they're, they know where I live or they they're, they know where I live or they they're, you know, they're possessive and they're you know, they're possessive and they're you know, they're possessive and they're trying to, you know, still be there and trying to, you know, still be there and trying to, you know, still be there and harass you and, you know, do all these harass you and, you know, do all these harass you and, you know, do all these other extra things that, you know, other extra things that, you know, other extra things that, you know, they're not supposed to after a certain they're not supposed to after a certain they're not supposed to after a certain episode. You know, that can happen. episode. You know, that can happen. episode. You know, that can happen. >> Um, as well as, uh, police responses. um >> Um, as well as, uh, police responses. um >> Um, as well as, uh, police responses. um not all officers are trauma informed, not all officers are trauma informed, not all officers are trauma informed, you know. So survivors may fear fear you know. So survivors may fear fear you know. So survivors may fear fear retaliation and not being believed. So I retaliation and not being believed. So I retaliation and not being believed. So I do think it's a very important just to do think it's a very important just to do think it's a very important just to have like resources, give out the have like resources, give out the have like resources, give out the resources to the people and just have resources to the people and just have resources to the people and just have that that extra help. You know, 211 is a that that extra help. You know, 211 is a that that extra help. You know, 211 is a hotline that can help. Uh National hotline that can help. Uh National hotline that can help. Uh National Domestic Violence um hotline is another Domestic Violence um hotline is another Domestic Violence um hotline is another one. They're 24/7. They're always one. They're 24/7. They're always one. They're 24/7. They're always online. Um you could call them. and uh online. Um you could call them. and uh online. Um you could call them. and uh Texas Health and Human Services for Texas Health and Human Services for Texas Health and Human Services for family violence programs are in effect family violence programs are in effect family violence programs are in effect as well for shelter and for resources as well for shelter and for resources as well for shelter and for resources all all around the US. So I think that's all all around the US. So I think that's all all around the US. So I think that's something that we need to just share something that we need to just share something that we need to just share with everybody. Um and I think more than with everybody. Um and I think more than with everybody. Um and I think more than anything too is is develop healthy anything too is is develop healthy anything too is is develop healthy relationships like really question your relationships like really question your relationships like really question your relationships, develop a community, relationships, develop a community, relationships, develop a community, develop people that you can trust and develop people that you can trust and develop people that you can trust and that like that like that like >> make you feel good about yourself when

>> make you feel good about yourself when >> make you feel good about yourself when you go home. Like if if nothing else, if you go home. Like if if nothing else, if you go home. Like if if nothing else, if you don't know like if this person is you don't know like if this person is you don't know like if this person is safe for me or not, safe for me or not, safe for me or not, >> like how do you feel when you go home >> like how do you feel when you go home >> like how do you feel when you go home after you've hung out with them? after you've hung out with them? after you've hung out with them? >> Like how how are you like like are you >> Like how how are you like like are you >> Like how how are you like like are you happy? Are you down? Are you tired? Are happy? Are you down? Are you tired? Are happy? Are you down? Are you tired? Are you like just all these like listen to you like just all these like listen to you like just all these like listen to yourself. yourself. yourself. >> Listen to your body cuz your body >> Listen to your body cuz your body >> Listen to your body cuz your body catches it before you will. catches it before you will. catches it before you will. >> Yeah. And then and I think more than >> Yeah. And then and I think more than >> Yeah. And then and I think more than anything like build that community anything like build that community anything like build that community because your people will will write will because your people will will write will because your people will will write will hold you and they'll and they'll check hold you and they'll and they'll check hold you and they'll and they'll check in with you and they'll know when you're in with you and they'll know when you're in with you and they'll know when you're not okay and they'll know when like oh not okay and they'll know when like oh not okay and they'll know when like oh you haven't checked in where are you you haven't checked in where are you you haven't checked in where are you like what's happening. like what's happening. like what's happening. >> Yeah. Like >> Yeah. Like >> Yeah. Like >> develop those relationships. >> develop those relationships. >> develop those relationships. >> Most definitely. >> Most definitely. >> Most definitely. >> And yes and seek out supports but >> And yes and seek out supports but >> And yes and seek out supports but >> sustaining like sustaining healing and >> sustaining like sustaining healing and >> sustaining like sustaining healing and sustaining like health. I I it's sustaining like health. I I it's sustaining like health. I I it's community. It's through it's through our community. It's through it's through our community. It's through it's through our connection as humans. connection as humans. connection as humans. >> Most definitely. Most most definitely >> Most definitely. Most most definitely >> Most definitely. Most most definitely that is very very important and very that is very very important and very that is very very important and very crucial as well to have that you know crucial as well to have that you know crucial as well to have that you know community support you know have the community support you know have the community support you know have the support that you need to go and actually support that you need to go and actually support that you need to go and actually go through it and then fully commit to go through it and then fully commit to go through it and then fully commit to it.

it. it. >> Um as we are living in a technology >> Um as we are living in a technology >> Um as we are living in a technology world a lot of abusers do have um you world a lot of abusers do have um you world a lot of abusers do have um you know they often monitor devices you know know they often monitor devices you know know they often monitor devices you know some people need to use a different some people need to use a different some people need to use a different phone a different computer because they phone a different computer because they phone a different computer because they they do get hacked you know they have they do get hacked you know they have they do get hacked you know they have your passwords they have basically your your passwords they have basically your your passwords they have basically your whole existence you know in the palm of whole existence you know in the palm of whole existence you know in the palm of their hands. So sometimes even if you their hands. So sometimes even if you their hands. So sometimes even if you try to do something they already have try to do something they already have try to do something they already have your your email, your password, your your your email, your password, your your your email, your password, your phone, your you know so having that um phone, your you know so having that um phone, your you know so having that um as well you know it's very important to as well you know it's very important to as well you know it's very important to actually be able to like actually leave actually be able to like actually leave actually be able to like actually leave the abusers you know and I think that's the abusers you know and I think that's the abusers you know and I think that's important. important. important. >> Um uh safety and and just leaving you >> Um uh safety and and just leaving you >> Um uh safety and and just leaving you know um create a personal safety plan. know um create a personal safety plan. know um create a personal safety plan. Um prepare a go bag. There's a lot of Um prepare a go bag. There's a lot of Um prepare a go bag. There's a lot of the stuff that have happened in your the stuff that have happened in your the stuff that have happened in your home, you know, with abusers and you home, you know, with abusers and you home, you know, with abusers and you don't know what you need until you you don't know what you need until you you don't know what you need until you you have to leave, you know, and having your have to leave, you know, and having your have to leave, you know, and having your IDs, your birth certificates, all your IDs, your birth certificates, all your IDs, your birth certificates, all your paper, medication, keys, you know, it's paper, medication, keys, you know, it's paper, medication, keys, you know, it's important to actually have a little important to actually have a little important to actually have a little backpack ready to go just in case of backpack ready to go just in case of backpack ready to go just in case of anything. Um, so it's very important to anything. Um, so it's very important to anything. Um, so it's very important to have that technology safety, turning off have that technology safety, turning off have that technology safety, turning off your locations, not sharing locations, your locations, not sharing locations, your locations, not sharing locations, passwords, or or even getting a new passwords, or or even getting a new passwords, or or even getting a new phone. um support networks, trust um phone. um support networks, trust um phone. um support networks, trust um have a trusted person like we were have a trusted person like we were have a trusted person like we were saying, you know, have a trusted member, saying, you know, have a trusted member, saying, you know, have a trusted member, family, you know, anybody that you can family, you know, anybody that you can family, you know, anybody that you can really trust and have that safety net really trust and have that safety net really trust and have that safety net with them is very crucial for you to be with them is very crucial for you to be with them is very crucial for you to be actually leave leave safely, you know.

actually leave leave safely, you know. actually leave leave safely, you know. >> Uh children, pet children and pets, you >> Uh children, pet children and pets, you >> Uh children, pet children and pets, you know, having them um safely uh be to be know, having them um safely uh be to be know, having them um safely uh be to be able to actually safely leave a home or able to actually safely leave a home or able to actually safely leave a home or leave a situation, you know, and have leave a situation, you know, and have leave a situation, you know, and have them taken care of is also a very big them taken care of is also a very big them taken care of is also a very big thing because a lot of us have families, thing because a lot of us have families, thing because a lot of us have families, a lot of us have children, a lot of us a lot of us have children, a lot of us a lot of us have children, a lot of us you know and and to keep our safety and you know and and to keep our safety and you know and and to keep our safety and their safety we have to make sure that their safety we have to make sure that their safety we have to make sure that we can take care of you know what we we can take care of you know what we we can take care of you know what we what we love you know I think that's what we love you know I think that's what we love you know I think that's very crucial um very crucial um very crucial um >> and uh changing locks you know preparing >> and uh changing locks you know preparing >> and uh changing locks you know preparing yourself to have a route um of exit is a yourself to have a route um of exit is a yourself to have a route um of exit is a very great thing to have also um very great thing to have also um very great thing to have also um community and responsibility prevention community and responsibility prevention community and responsibility prevention uh believing survivors when they speak uh believing survivors when they speak uh believing survivors when they speak uh learning the signs of abuse um and uh learning the signs of abuse um and uh learning the signs of abuse um and friends and co-workers supporting local friends and co-workers supporting local friends and co-workers supporting local shelters and donating to to the shelters and donating to to the shelters and donating to to the volunteers and advocating for these volunteers and advocating for these volunteers and advocating for these strong laws that go into effect that strong laws that go into effect that strong laws that go into effect that help uh the abuse uh victims help uh the abuse uh victims help uh the abuse uh victims uh workplace and school places um to uh workplace and school places um to uh workplace and school places um to host um awareness to these events, you host um awareness to these events, you host um awareness to these events, you know, and I just really thank everybody know, and I just really thank everybody know, and I just really thank everybody to just be here and actually have these to just be here and actually have these to just be here and actually have these hard conversations with us. You know, hard conversations with us. You know, hard conversations with us. You know, they're very sentimental, very touchy they're very sentimental, very touchy they're very sentimental, very touchy subjects and I think that we we have to subjects and I think that we we have to subjects and I think that we we have to have and we have to keep on having these have and we have to keep on having these have and we have to keep on having these conversations. This shouldn't be just conversations. This shouldn't be just conversations. This shouldn't be just one conversation. It should be several.

one conversation. It should be several. one conversation. It should be several. >> And you know, in terms of encouraging >> And you know, in terms of encouraging >> And you know, in terms of encouraging your workplace to ho host domestic your workplace to ho host domestic your workplace to ho host domestic violence events, uh we are at violence events, uh we are at violence events, uh we are at Creattopia, we're looking to set up Creattopia, we're looking to set up Creattopia, we're looking to set up self-defense classes. self-defense classes. self-defense classes. >> Beautiful. >> Beautiful. >> Beautiful. >> Um ongoing because because that is I >> Um ongoing because because that is I >> Um ongoing because because that is I mean when you get down to it, it it mean when you get down to it, it it mean when you get down to it, it it comes to you knowing that you've got comes to you knowing that you've got comes to you knowing that you've got yourself. yourself. yourself. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> You knowing that no matter where you >> You knowing that no matter where you >> You knowing that no matter where you are, you can defend yourself. are, you can defend yourself. are, you can defend yourself. >> Yes. Because because even if you're even >> Yes. Because because even if you're even >> Yes. Because because even if you're even if you are somebody that's very if you are somebody that's very if you are somebody that's very conscious about safety and have grown up conscious about safety and have grown up conscious about safety and have grown up in a in a safe home and like all these in a in a safe home and like all these in a in a safe home and like all these things stuff can still happen. things stuff can still happen. things stuff can still happen. >> It can >> It can >> It can >> if you don't know how to defend >> if you don't know how to defend >> if you don't know how to defend yourself. yourself. yourself. >> Most definitely. >> Most definitely. >> Most definitely. >> Um so that is definitely something that >> Um so that is definitely something that >> Um so that is definitely something that we are looking to integrate here. Um and we are looking to integrate here. Um and we are looking to integrate here. Um and so with with I'm in a I'm part of an so with with I'm in a I'm part of an so with with I'm in a I'm part of an organization called Santa. Um I'm the organization called Santa. Um I'm the organization called Santa. Um I'm the advocacy chair. I just joined this year. advocacy chair. I just joined this year. advocacy chair. I just joined this year. Um and and and what they do is they Um and and and what they do is they Um and and and what they do is they advocate against violence against girls advocate against violence against girls advocate against violence against girls and women. Um so as the advocacy chair, and women. Um so as the advocacy chair, and women. Um so as the advocacy chair, we're going to be doing a lot of events we're going to be doing a lot of events we're going to be doing a lot of events and hosting different things with them and hosting different things with them and hosting different things with them as well. Um beautiful. So look out for as well. Um beautiful. So look out for as well. Um beautiful. So look out for that.

that. that. >> Yay. Excited. Excited. Stay tuned you >> Yay. Excited. Excited. Stay tuned you >> Yay. Excited. Excited. Stay tuned you guys for that. That's very very guys for that. That's very very guys for that. That's very very Ameliahart was a Ameliahart was a Ameliahart was a >> beautiful [laughter] and we're all over >> beautiful [laughter] and we're all over >> beautiful [laughter] and we're all over the world. Yeah. women, you know, and the world. Yeah. women, you know, and the world. Yeah. women, you know, and there's people and there's people that there's people and there's people that there's people and there's people that are already doing this work and and like are already doing this work and and like are already doing this work and and like things that you can tap into and and things that you can tap into and and things that you can tap into and and really like seek people out like don't really like seek people out like don't really like seek people out like don't don't stay isolated. I think that like don't stay isolated. I think that like don't stay isolated. I think that like >> we talk about technology and and how >> we talk about technology and and how >> we talk about technology and and how we're building technology as a force of we're building technology as a force of we're building technology as a force of good because we've seen that technology good because we've seen that technology good because we've seen that technology is isolating us and it's keeping us in is isolating us and it's keeping us in is isolating us and it's keeping us in our mind and it's not a very happy place our mind and it's not a very happy place our mind and it's not a very happy place like our video games are very violent like our video games are very violent like our video games are very violent like everything is very violent like everything is very violent like everything is very violent >> and so come out come into the world. >> and so come out come into the world. >> and so come out come into the world. It's nice out here. It's nice out here. It's nice out here. >> Come see some sunshine. [laughter] >> Come see some sunshine. [laughter] >> Come see some sunshine. [laughter] >> We play volleyball there at Bucky >> We play volleyball there at Bucky >> We play volleyball there at Bucky Pickle. Pickle. Pickle. >> Let's go. >> Let's go. >> Let's go. >> Like there's just, you know, come like >> Like there's just, you know, come like >> Like there's just, you know, come like [laughter] come be move. I think that's [laughter] come be move. I think that's [laughter] come be move. I think that's one of the biggest thing is like one of the biggest thing is like one of the biggest thing is like movement. Get out. Go move. Go sweat. Go movement. Get out. Go move. Go sweat. Go movement. Get out. Go move. Go sweat. Go go go go go see the sun and the trees go go go go see the sun and the trees go go go go see the sun and the trees and the birds and everything else, you and the birds and everything else, you and the birds and everything else, you know, because you can't stay inside. I know, because you can't stay inside. I know, because you can't stay inside. I feel like once you stay inside, you feel like once you stay inside, you feel like once you stay inside, you really start getting more depressed and really start getting more depressed and really start getting more depressed and more isolated.

more isolated. more isolated. it just it deteriorates your mind and it just it deteriorates your mind and it just it deteriorates your mind and being outside being being with humans being outside being being with humans being outside being being with humans again you know having that interaction again you know having that interaction again you know having that interaction with people I feel like it brings you with people I feel like it brings you with people I feel like it brings you back it definitely brings you back back it definitely brings you back back it definitely brings you back >> it's amazing what h like mirror neurons >> it's amazing what h like mirror neurons >> it's amazing what h like mirror neurons and how and how you can just you can and how and how you can just you can and how and how you can just you can just see somebody doing something and just see somebody doing something and just see somebody doing something and your brain thinks you're doing it your brain thinks you're doing it your brain thinks you're doing it >> so if all you're watching is violence >> so if all you're watching is violence >> so if all you're watching is violence and sexuality and like all these things and sexuality and like all these things and sexuality and like all these things like that's what's you're act your like that's what's you're act your like that's what's you're act your body's actually capturing that body's actually capturing that body's actually capturing that >> yes >> yes >> yes >> but once you expose yourself to >> but once you expose yourself to >> but once you expose yourself to different things like your whole reality different things like your whole reality different things like your whole reality changes. It really does. changes. It really does. changes. It really does. >> It does. Yeah. The placebo effect. >> It does. Yeah. The placebo effect. >> It does. Yeah. The placebo effect. >> Join us. >> Join us. >> Join us. >> Yay. Join us. [laughter] >> Yay. Join us. [laughter] >> Yay. Join us. [laughter] >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Beautiful. Thank you. I really really >> Beautiful. Thank you. I really really >> Beautiful. Thank you. I really really just appreciate you just for sharing just appreciate you just for sharing just appreciate you just for sharing your stories and you know the stories of your stories and you know the stories of your stories and you know the stories of others and and having this hard others and and having this hard others and and having this hard conversation. It is a very touchy conversation. It is a very touchy conversation. It is a very touchy subject you know and I feel like the subject you know and I feel like the subject you know and I feel like the more that we talk about it the more that more that we talk about it the more that more that we talk about it the more that we could help others. And I feel like we could help others. And I feel like we could help others. And I feel like that's that's our you know that's our that's that's our you know that's our that's that's our you know that's our story. That's our that's our our our story. That's our that's our our our story. That's our that's our our our place of how to give back you know. And place of how to give back you know. And place of how to give back you know. And I feel like that's a beautiful thing. I feel like that's a beautiful thing. I feel like that's a beautiful thing. And thank you for Creattopia for And thank you for Creattopia for And thank you for Creattopia for creating this safe space where we can creating this safe space where we can creating this safe space where we can have these conversations and and having have these conversations and and having have these conversations and and having just this opportunity to be able to be just this opportunity to be able to be just this opportunity to be able to be here. I'm very very thankful for you here. I'm very very thankful for you here. I'm very very thankful for you from the bottom of my heart always. And from the bottom of my heart always. And from the bottom of my heart always. And I I appreciate you really really I I appreciate you really really I I appreciate you really really [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] for having me.

for having me. for having me. >> Thank you. Thank you so much. And you >> Thank you. Thank you so much. And you >> Thank you. Thank you so much. And you guys, thank you so much for tuning in. guys, thank you so much for tuning in. guys, thank you so much for tuning in. It is a very hard conversation, but we It is a very hard conversation, but we It is a very hard conversation, but we love to have these conversations and love to have these conversations and love to have these conversations and bring it to your community. We're here bring it to your community. We're here bring it to your community. We're here to inform and inspire and we appreciate to inform and inspire and we appreciate to inform and inspire and we appreciate you for tuning in. Please like, share, you for tuning in. Please like, share, you for tuning in. Please like, share, subscribe. Thank you so much. I subscribe. Thank you so much. I subscribe. Thank you so much. I appreciate you guys.